Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Bondy

I leant across the pool table, torso stretched, my shirt lifted up, belly brushing the fibres of green sheet as I focussed all my attention on the cue and not fucking it up.

I was aware of Bob's eyes fixed on me as he leant back against the wall, sipping his pint, willing me to miss my shot. Not that it mattered, I didn't stand a chance against Bob.
Still, it was me and Van vs Bob and Blakes and Van had left me in the drivers seat whilst him and Larry went out to buy cigs, and I had vowed to stay focussed, to stay dedicated.

I drew in a breath lining up my shot once again, sliding the cue through my fingers, lining it up once again.

"Howay Bondy whatre ye doing? Yous were meant be winnin this for us?!" Cried out Van, startling me senseless as I fucked the shot and spun round.

"Fuckin hell man I woulda made that then!" I exclaimed back, "jesus la are you trying to kill me or what," I grinned trailing off when I saw who had followed him into our local that evening. "It were your own fault anyway want it Van," I smirked a little sheepishly scratching the back of my neck, my eyes flickering between the two girls, only one of whom I'd been expecting to see. The other sending me shy and set back to my own surprise.

I watched Saffy nodding to the bar, her hands in the pocket of her jacket before leaving Fliss alone to shift from foot to foot, her eyes following her friend across the room.

It was strange seeing them both so uncomfortable. Not like they didn't want to be here, not like they didn't want to be around us, just a little like they'd swam out to far this time, wound up in the deep end.

"Here if your so much better," I mumbled shoving the cue into Vans hand, following Saffron to the bar, throat a little tight as I thought about what to say to her, how I was going to say it. Whether I was going to say anything at all.

"Two double vodka cokes please," she offered the lad behind the bar a smile, sweet, sort of hiding behind her blonde overgrown fringe as I leant on the counter next to her and nodded to the bar man.

"Alreet Tim," I yawned, "I'll get these," I said, "get us another round in an all yeah lad,"

"Oh you don't..."

"Give over Saffy," I shrugged offering her a smile, and when I smiled she smiled and something changed, the awkwardness sliding away and in a second she was laughing at a joke I'd made and it turned out all I'd ever needed to do to make it right, was slide in and act like nothing had ever really been wrong to begin with.

"So what dya think, yous can save it for us?" I nodded to the table but she just snorted.

"Give over Bondy," she teased, her grin lighting up her expression, her dimples deep in her cheeks.

"Aye yeah you're probably right," I smirked, hands shoved in my pockets as I turned around, leaning back against the bar, looking between her and the game, mostly just looking at her.

Just then a victory cheer erupted from Blakes, making me jump for the second time that night. Saffron giggled beside me, getting me in the ribs with her elbow, a wind up merchant smile simmering on her lips.

"Good job you got that round in sugar," she smiled pushing her fringe from her eyes momentarily. It felt strange talking to her now, seeing her eyes light up the way they did when she laughed at another of my strange sentiments. Looking at her now I couldn't believe the things my friends a relayed to me over luke warm brews sipped from polystyrene cups on the sea front in the unexpected sun.

It was difficult to look at Saff, the hollow points of her dimples and know that they were new, that she had spent the last few days in hell, it was hard to see her with her hand on her neck, playing with her pendants, knowing that the bruises he had left were only just begun to fade away.
It was difficult to imagine it could have happened to her, and yet it had, and here we were just ignoring it.
That was strange for me, just ignoring something like that, but I knew Saff had been doing just that for a very long time. Ignoring things like that was second nature to her now and well, who was I to disturb that.