You were the light in the darkness

Chapter 35

NO ONES POV
"Ok so....umm,I don't really know where to start..." Beca fell silent trying to think of what to say next.
"At the beginning would be good" Aubrey said quite sternly,Chloe just glared at her blonde friend before standing up and making her way over to Beca.
"You've got this Becs,I'm right here"
Beca took a deep breath before continuing, "so,I think it's only fair I explain what you saw earlier. So what you saw was me having a panic attack. I've been having them for years because of...." she paused before she felt Chloe squeeze her hand. "Because of something that happened that I'm not ready to tell you yet and I don't know if I ever will be but all you need to know is that because of what happened whenever I get myself in situations that because uncomfortable for me I go into a state of panic,causing the attacks to happen. And when Chloe and I arrived here earlier,I had already been through so much and then I got scared because you were all asking so many questions. I don't blame you for what happened,you were just worried about me,which honestly I am so grateful for because no one has ever really cared for apart from my mum..." Beca holds back the tear about to run down her face "I just go panicked because of all the questions came out once,that's all. So I'm just letting you know if I seem spaced out at any time you see me then please just give me some space to collect my self before you try and speak to me,because otherwise I might snap at you and I don't want that." She finally let the tear fall down her face. All the bellas we're in complete silence not knowing what to say. Chloe hugged her girlfriend before whispering in her ear "You Ok beautiful?"
"I'm good. I'm just going to step outside for a bit Ok? I need to calm myself down before all the girls start asking questions"
Chloe nodded letting Beca go,the brunette made her way outside through the back door grabbing a cigarette from the packet in her back pocket and lit it. Inhaling deeply she let the smoke relax her as she sat on the step and reflected on what had just happened.