Sunflower

33 - It Doesn't Last Forever

Micah

I've never felt love before, not like this. I've never felt so happy, so care-free, so wrapped up in a happy little world. I used to ache for the feeling of love, for someone to love me, but I gave up after years of disappointment. I convinced myself love just wouldn't be something I'd have the pleasure of experiencing, and I tried to tell myself I was okay with that, but I wasn't. I never was, and after meeting Theo, I don't think I can ever be okay with a life without love, a life without him.

We sink to the bottom of the pool. I can't help but laugh as he flails his arms out awkwardly. He clearly isn't an experienced swimmer. Bubbles flow from my mouth and rise to the surface of the pool. As I feel the air escaping me, I rise with them.

Our upper bodies pop out of the water. He shakes his head, his wet, dangled hair flinging cold droplets of water at me. I giggle softly as I splash him.

He stares at me, and something off in the distance. I don't have enough time to look and see what else he's looking at because almost as soon as I take another deep breath of air, he pulls me under the water. His hands wrap around my neck and he pulls me into his body. The coldness of the water seems to disappear, and the heat of his body somehow survived underneath the water. He fits his mouth into mine, and I then realize how different his lips feel underwater. They're smoother, softer, and the taste of chlorine is definitely present, but it is washed away by the fruitiness of his lips. He tastes of strawberries, and his skin smells of silky rose petals.

He pulls away, and his hands fall to my torso. We swim to the more shallow end of the pool, and as we are swimming up for air, I feel my t shirt begin to lift up. Theo's fingers slip away from the fabric and onto my bare skin, in places they have never roamed to before. I feel his hand brush over the red, circular scars that speckle the area around my belly button. He looks down, and almost as soon as he sees them, I push him away. He is sent flying back, and we both swim to the surface of the pool.

I swim as fast as I can towards the steps. He is a few feet away from me, but he chases after me as I leap out of the pool.

My heart rate picks up, and I can feel it pounding in my throat. I know what he's going to say.

A few tears manage to slip from my eyes, but they mix with the water droplets resting on my cheeks. I grab a towel that lays on one of the benches and wrap it around my soaking body.

"Micah," Theo calls to me as he steps out of the pool.

"M-maybe you should go," I reply almost instantly. I don't want him to see me anymore, not when I've been so exposed. I wish I never asked to go swimming, I wish we had just laid in the comfort of my bed for hours and hours, letting the sun go down and the moon rise.

"I'm not leaving," he argues. I suddenly feel his hand grip onto my shoulder tightly. Chills slither down my arched spine.

"Micah wh-"

"Theo, it's okay. Please just go." I beg.

He pulls me around, forcing me to face him. There is anger roaring within his glare.

"Why did you do that?"

I shake my head and avoid eye contact with him. "D-do what?"

"Don't make me say it!" he growls.

Silence fills the air around us, and I hope that he will just let this go, but he doesn't. He stands still, looking up at me with the same fury I see in his eyes written all over his face.

"Why did you fucking burn yourself?" He cries out unexpectedly. I flinch. I didn't think he would actually acknowledge it.

"I d-didn't-"

He is furious. "Then what are those?"

I don't reply. I stand in silence as I use all the strength I have to keep the tears from pouring down my drying face.

Suddenly, Theo reaches for my stomach. He grabs the hem of my t shirt and is able to lift it up slightly before I swat his hand away.

"Tell me what that is!"

My face becomes flustered in anger and embarrassment.

"What do you want me to say?" I yell back.

"I want you to tell me who did that if you didn't do it yourself!"

Fuming, I step away from him. I wrap the towel around my body and ball my fists in anger.

"Go Theo!"

"No I-"

I point to his car and yell even louder.

"I said go!" I can't keep the sorrow from leaking out of my words. I allow a few tears to fall down my cheeks. I wipe them away. Theo stands there silently for a few long, painful seconds before finally running through the gate and to his car.

I collapse onto the nearest chair. I begin to sob softly into my hands.

I want to tell you so bad, Theo.

But I can't, I couldn't.

He was watching, he's always watching.

After what seems like forever sitting outside, I feel a hand wrap around my arm. It lifts me up onto my feet, and my hands fall to my sides. My eyes meet with his dark, almost-black pupils, and he smiles wickedly at me.

"You didn't tell him," he says in a proud tone.

"You must love me more than I thought."

~ shi