Sunflower

11 - Is it Love?

Micah

I don't expect to see him coming in so early, but he does, and I'm not ready to look at him.

Theo stumbles into the classroom, the steadiness of his steps vanished into thin air. He clumsily makes his way over to the desk next to mine and sits down. The familiar scent of alcohol wafts into my nose, and I instantly turn the other way.

He drinks.

He doesn't just drink, he drinks. He drinks like he's grieving, he drinks like he's in pain. He drinks like my father once did.

An all too real sting wraps around my heart and yanks at it tightly. It's as if a swarm of bees have nested inside my chest.

He's an idiot.

Only idiots drink. Only idiots don't know how badly alcohol fucks with your life.

I feel tears prickle in my eyes at the thought of what it did to mine.

The bell rings, and I wipe all signs of sadness from my face.

~

The entire class rushes out of the classroom as soon as the third bell rings.

I notice Theo struggling to stand, his arms and legs resembling skinny twigs that could snap at any given moment. Sighing, I turn towards him and grab his feeble wrist. He looks at me with a pure, almost sad look. How could one so hungover appear so... innocent? I pull him out of the class and towards the bathroom.

Once we arrive, I drag him into one of the stalls. It wasn't the most ideal place for a heart-to-heart talk, but at least we would have some sort of privacy.

We stand only centimeters apart from each other.

I don't even know what I'm going to tell him.

Stop drinking.

Yeah, because that's so easy.

The anger building up inside me causes my bones to burn and my skin to itch. How can he do this?

I slap his cheek. My hands are so numb, I have no idea how hard it was.

But judging by the bright pink imprint my hand left on his soft skin, it was quite the slap.

The fogginess in his eyes seems to clear, and awareness for his surroundings is starting to make its way inside his mind. He looks at me, completely shocked by my decision to slap him.

"What the hell was that for?"

His breath smells disgustingly of alcohol. I feel a wave of nausea twist around my stomach. Our lips are mere moments apart. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to bring him in here.

If it was, I can't go back now.

"Why are you such an idiot?" I ask angrily.

he doesn't answer.

"Why are you doing this? You're going to ruin your life!"

Anger rests in both our stares.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because I just do."

For a second, he loses his balance. I reach out for his hand before he can hit the floor. Our fingers intertwine, and his incredibly comforting warmth creeps across my skin, sending chills to race down my spine. I gasp softly, unable to keep the tsunami of feelings contained. I see a smirk tug at his lips, and I slap him once again.

"Don't look at me like that," I growl.

His palm travels to my cheek, and the warmth that envelops my hands now cradles my face.

"You like it," he whispers, his intoxicating breath kissing my neck. The alcohol is still painfully present in his scent.

Grabbing his wrist, I push his hand away.

"We aren't talking about that."

His smirk only grows.

"So you do," he retorts with an elusive twinkle in his eyes.

I try desperately to change the subject back to the initial topic.

"You can't keep drinking," I say.

"Why not?"

"You're so stupid."

"I know."

"No, you don't!" I back away from him, the anger I felt before returning. "You're such an idiot. You don't know how fucked up your life is gonna be! You're ruining yourself, you're ruining everything!"

The same rage I feel burning inside my chest is now present in his eyes.

"Don't you think I know that, Micah?"

Micah, my name fits so perfectly on his tongue. My heart begins to swell, and I fear my rib cage might be too small to hold it. I curse myself for getting distracting.

"You ruined my life," I whisper softly.

At this point, tears are streaming down my face. Hot, salty tears trail down my flushed cheeks. It's the first time I've cried in front of anyone since my sister. I feel exposed, I feel naked. I miss the blanket my secrets provided me with.

After a few seconds, Theo grabs my hand. I don't pull away.

"You're not talking about me are you?"

The ability to talk has managed to leave me once again. I only nod, confirming his suspicion. He sighs a long, deep sigh.

Looking at him, he still appears undoubtedly hungover. It's surprising to me how he still manages to make me feel this way, even when his cheeks are nearly green and his eyes are swollen and red.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" He asks while our hands are still touching. I look at him, unsure of what he means.

"Right, you've probably never done this before. Let's skip school."

"Skip school?"

"Skip school."

"I don't know.." I answer. I don't want to get into any more trouble because of him.

"Come on Micah, I can't get through the day like this, and you clearly need a break."

If it were any other guy, I would say no.

I would say no.

But it wasn't any other guy. It was Theo, a boy I've only known for three days, but somehow it feels as if I've known him my whole life. It was Theo, an annoying, obnoxious, idiotic boy who couldn't know anything about what it's like to be under so much pressure from everyone you know. He was just a boy, one that I've seemed to have fallen head over heals for, despite all my effort to convince myself otherwise.

I nod.

A smile lights up on his face, one that almost sparkles as brightly as his eyes.

He leads me out of the bathroom, our fingers still laced together. The ache in my chest deepens, but it's different now. It's an enjoyable feeling, one I have never experienced before.

Maybe it's love.

~ shi