Bechloe - Into The Light

Chapter XXXV

Katherine and Seth had gotten to Beca and Chloe's house the next morning and ever since they got there, they hadn't been able to put baby Brittany down. The two grandparents took turns holding her, feeding her, and playing with her. Baby Brittany loved all of the attention she was getting and she was going to get a heap more since Chloe had told her friends and family of their new arrival and Beca had posted a photo of herself, Chloe, and Brittany on social media, which made the Internet practically blow up. It was all over the news and Beca's fans were so happy for the artist. But Beca didn't focus on how popular her photo was and how crazy it made everyone, she just wanted the world to know that her baby girl was bought into the world and that she couldn't have been happier. All that mattered to Beca was her family and she was so grateful for them.

"And up you go! Up you go! Up you go again!"

Baby Brittany giggled her little head off as Seth threw her up in the air and caught her.

"I used to do this with your mama. Yes, I did," he told the baby. "She loved it. Ready to go again? One... Two... Three! Up you go!" Seth threw his granddaughter up again and caught her, filling the living room with her giggles.

"Oh, careful, Seth," Katherine fretted.

"She'll be fine. I never dropped Beca and she turned out fine."

"Just," the artist teased.

"Don't listen to her," Seth told Brittany. "Besides, you like this don't you? Yes, you do! up you go!"

Brittany giggled loudly as she was thrown up in the air again.

"Want a coffee?" Beca asked her wife.

"Yes, please."

"On it." Beca got up from the couch and went into the kitchen.

Once she got there she began coughing and she tried to stop it but it just kept going on and on and it hurt. Beca clutched at her chest and looked at her handkerchief when she pulled it away from her mouth and it was covered in blood. Beca hated the sight but unfortunately, she had gotten used to it and it didn't phase her anymore.

"Are you okay, darling?" Katherine asked once she approached her daughter who was washing her hands and trying to get precious air back into her lungs.

"Just dandy," she replied.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know this is hard for you but you're doing well."

"Am I? I can't even touch my wife or daughter because I might get them sick. I have to keep a distance between the ones I love. It hurts to breathe. I get tired easily. I feel nauseous a lot of the time. I can't sing like I used to or else I cough my lungs up - literally. I'm scared of falling asleep because I fear that I won't wake up. So am I really doing well?"

"I know it's hard, honey, I know it is and I couldn't imagine going through what you're going through and I know that you've heard this a lot but you need to keep going."

"I'm not getting any better, mom. Every day I feel like I'm going to stop breathing or I'll cough one too many times and that'll be it for me. I fear that I'll drop dead at any moment. I'm not saying that I want to give up but... being alive is draining. I'm so tired. Like, right now I'm so tired and I feel like shit. One, because of my sickness, and two, because Chloe has to do the majority of the work when it comes to Brittany. I can't even be a proper mother or wife because of this stupid disease. I've let Chloe down and the worst part is that I can't do anything about it."

"But you can, Becs, you can keep fighting. You're doing everything the doctor tells you to do, right?"

"Yes, but it's not working. I feel like I'm just living on borrowed time. I feel like every day is going to be my last and I get so upset because today might be the last day I see my wife and child. But it's my own fault. If I hadn't gone to Adelaide's... If I hadn't..."