Shitty Poems

Untitled

If I disappeared tomorrow
Who would look for me?
If I let go of life tomorrow
How different would it be?
They would just continue
Without a second thought
Though they said they loved me
Well obviously not.

If I let go tomorrow
How would they take my fall?
With grief, sadness and sorrow?
Would it go unnoticed by all?
What difference did I really make
How different would it be
If I just decided to fall out
The life tree God made for me

I'm sorry Lord, but I'm afraid
I really have to go
It's better, if to rest, I'm laid
Thanks for the chance though
The shot at life you've blessed me with
Has sadly gone to waste
Thrown away. Unfortunately, happiness is a myth.
I ask of you: please tell death to make haste.

For the record, I enjoyed it
For a short time, at least.
But now I realise, I must quit
Time to go join the deceased.
If there is another way
I pray you show me how
To put my sorrow way,
Maybe through it I could plow?

I might stay for one day more
Try to help everyone
Spend time with the brother I adore
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to no one.
But now I'm getting worried
If I interact they'll know
They might find out I'm hurried
To escape this horror show.

Every sleepless night I spend
Wond'ring what they think of me
Do I really want to let them find
My ugly, lifeless body?
How could I scar them like that?
What have I become?
To think of scaring them like that
To temptation I can't succumb.

But why should I regard their feelings?
They never did for me.
If I tried to spend time healing,
No difference I would see.
I'm past the point of no return
I am a lost cause
I've already crashed and burned
From life, I need a pause.

From life, what good would a pause be
If I'm still on this earth?
I have no purpose here, you see
I was a lost cause from birth.
The lies that people feed me
So I won't up and go
Attempts at helping probably
But deep inside they know

That I am expendable.
They know I waste their time
All I am not inimitable.
I'd still be useless in my prime.
So what else is here for me?
Does God even know?
In His master plan, what would I be
What do I have to show?

Don't pretend you do not hate me
I'll screw up anyway
And you will end up hating me
In time. Another day
I would try to apologise
For what I have done
Now I'm done with all the lies
I'm done, okay? I'm gone.

So go ahead, do what you want
Anyway, I won't be there
A dead person you can't taunt.
Go on, I will not care.
Don't be surprised or sorry
When the news is spread
Don't bother with a eulogy
When you hear that I am dead.