𝔴𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔰𝔲𝔫 ⟡ ʀɖʀ2

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 𝟷𝟶

Nathan and I head into Saint Denis to stake out this bank. I didn't really know what we were looking for and I almost felt like Dutch should've sent someone else who didn't value their life and future as much as I did at the given moment. Stupid of me to believe in my future I suppose, if I could ever find a way to get out of here sooner, I would. I wasn't much of the talkative type at the moment. I was just too busy being within my own thoughts about everything going on around us. I didn't know how to go about my idea when I knew Selina was just as wrapped up in this mess as I was. If I wanted to leave, they could come for her too. I didn't want that for us, not anytime soon that was. I was too busy staring off into space, Nate had to nudge me just to get me back within the task at hand.

"Ash, you good, boy?"
"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine."

He would know better and I hated it sometimes when he could read right through my emotions. What was a best friend for if we could just do these things to one another? Guess I did need someone other than Sel to see right through my emotions.

"You lyin' to me. Don't do that shit. What's goin' on in ya head?"
"It's just this whole thing with Dutch. Hittin' this bank is fuckin' insane. We're gonna die. There's law all over this city."
"Since when does death scare you?"
"Since I fell in love with that goddamn girl back in camp that's when."

Everything goes silent at that moment. I hated admitting it to someone that wasn't Sel. But I knew I was in love with her. I just fucking knew it, and it nearly disgusted me to say it outloud. Just because I hated the idea of it ending sourly, me, buried ten feet under, cold in the ground and turning into bones. Her mourning for all about a year before finding another man to entertain her time. Timing was everything, I had heard within relationships and this was the worst timing ever. I cleared my throat before I just shook my head.
"I hate it... I hate lovin' her so deeply that if I had to stare death in the face--- Rather they make it quick and easy and not have me ever look into those beautiful eyes again. It would pain me to see her watch me die. God, the other way around is even worse. I'd probably just give up, become as cold hearted as the rest of these fellers we work with and for."
Nate isn't speaking and it's leaving me alone within my own thoughts. But I knew he was trying to let me get it all out before deciding how to approach the situation.

"I know you love her. I've known since the moment I saw you look at her, the moment that you spoke 'bout her, I knew. The truth is, Asher--- You can't fight this life. We did this to ourselves when Dutch found us, starvin', down on our luck. He gave us a better life, but not by much. Just grateful we got food, place to sleep. All that. We didn't see this comin'. Really, we just... Well, it took us by surprise. It's nearly been seven or eight months and we're still runnin' from the law. Six thousand total for yours and my head. Scary shit... But, you think 'bout it. You've given that girl so much to see, so much too look forward to. If shit is meant to be, it will be. 'Member that. Selina has a price on her head too, but only a thousand. You know, other day, guess the stagecoach almost got robbed comin' back from here. Freakish people, know what she did? Shot those fuckers in cold blood. You think the Selina we met that first day in Horseshoe Overlook--- Hell, Valentine would've done that? No. You--- You've changed her."
"But not in the best form, Nate! Ya hear yourself? That girl is a murderer now, no better than the rest of us!"
"We've murdered people too. Exactly. She's no different now. Stronger... Exactly what she was needing. Shit, that girl broke off her engagement with a man who was barely gonna be there for her. You--- You're always there for her. If the gods above believe in fate and everything of the sort, they'll make sure you make it out alive and her as well if she's even gonna be comin' with us. But I doubt she will. Sadie ain't even been thinkin' she's gonna be involved with this entire thing."

I just nod now as my eyes focus back upon the bank. Just thinking about the words that were just shared with me. Suppose he was nothing but right about everything with Selina.
"What the fuck would I do without you, Nate? You talk me down too much."
"I can see it for you too, Ash. All of the good stuff for your future. Fuck, don't know if Lauren is worth it but shit, could you imagine our sons out in a field shooting a rifle together? Just fuckin'--- Just like us. Good pals. Our daughters... Playin' with them scary dolls you can get at a fence. Then us man... Selina and you. I know what you deserve in this life, Asher. All that shit."
"All I guess I can say is I'm prayin' to the good lord above that no harm comes to you or I. We... We're gonna survive this shit."
"Gotten through much worse together. Just wanna be at your weddin', yous at mine. Selina might be a cold hard killer now, but I can see her goin' back to being the good girl she was. Just all for makin' that future happen. You're gonna be so in love forever, I can tell."

I just nod before a chuckle passes my lips. All the thoughts, just everything. I hoped. That was the most I could do when it came to this. I just wanted what I could have in the given moment and see to it that I did my best to avoid death. Stare it in the face once within this lifetime, but never go with him. "I hope that you and I will make it. We better. Not gonna be worth it lovin' that girl from Annesburg if you're dead."
"Yeah, last thing I want is Bill tryin' to go after her. Those Annesburg girls ain't nothin' but a good time."

We laugh now, it only took that. Just to get it all out and onto the table now. "Alright, well, what do we make of this bank?"
"I ain't got a damn clue."
"Wanna go buy some new clothes, get some food or somethin'? Drink a bit."

We both agreed right away before standing, we'd just tell Dutch that the bank was closed or that there wasn't much action at the given time but send someone else in the near future. We just weren't the ones to be put up to this.
Selina was going to get her way out when I did too. Didn't care much if Dutch or anyone came for us. We'd both know how to defend ourselves to the bitter end.