𝔴𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔰𝔲𝔫 ⟡ ʀɖʀ2

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 𝟺𝟺

I really honestly couldn't sleep that night. Having to take my family away from here and have some guy that Sadie 'knew' watch our ranch was a bit scary too. I only hoped she knew what she was doing when it came to this. But all I really did for the first couple hours after we went to bed was toss and turn. We had a lanturn within our room to keep things lit incase we needed to exit the room at all for any reason. I turn on my side and spot a photo of myself and Selina when we was in the gang. We got it taken in Saint Denis on one of our outings before we found out she was pregnant. Just looking over that facial hair and who I was back then, the blankness and no heart I tried to carry when I wasn't with her and though we didn't have much expression, we still seemed to show true happiness together. I knew who I was back then, scared, angry, confused. God, I even recall saying I hated the fact that I loved Selina. It was all true though, because I hadn't felt those emotions in so long. It was hard looking back on my old life, this entire thing though, was making me feel like I needed to go back to it. I turn onto my back now before eyes direct over to the sleeping woman beside me. She was so beautiful when she wasn't busy worrying about this place, or what she was going to make for dinner tonight, or even our children. It was so different to think that's what she'd worry about and not if she'd be shot the next day or anything of the sort. I did love this girl, exactly why I hoped at the end of all this, I was able to come right back to this spot.

          All I can really hear right now is the constant tick-tock of our clock on the wall. I sigh deeply as I just lean up and sit on the edge of the bed. I can't sleep. I really can't. Too many nerves. I look at the clock. 4:38am
We was looking to leave by 6am... If I couldn't sleep now, might as well just bite the bullet and stay awake. Get ready for our adventure and get ready for the road ahead of us. John and Abigail didn't live too far from us anyway, but the journey to track down Micah was going to be a long one and I knew it. I run my hands over my face before signing deeply and standing. My clothing was in the washroom and that was exactly where I decided I needed to go. I open our sons' room door slightly and take a peek at them. They was sound asleep as usual in their beds. Coming out into our living area, I spot Sadie asleep on the couch. If I was honest, sometimes I did wonder what my life would've been like had I never met Selina. If Sadie and I had continued our little go around together. I had heard she said about five years after everything, she probably would've felt more mellowed out about everything in the end, losing her husband. Everything. I guess we'd be bounty hunters together, something, lived here together but probably wouldn't even have kids just yet or be married. Wouldn't think on it much, I was with Selina and I was sure her and I would figure things out when the boys got older about what we want to do.
I head into the washroom and catch my reflection in the mirror. I had been growing this beard for so long now, I almost forgot it was apart of me like it was. I almost didn't recognize myself most days if I was honest. The slight amount of grey near the bottom left of the course hair was a little upsetting too. I never felt this old ever. I sigh deeply as I'm trying to decide. Do I shave it all off? Or do I leave it? I sit there and wait before making the choice. Time for the old Asher to really be seen again. I get everything set up with my shaving kit before I begin, quick with the first motion of the blade. Then the second, and then the third. I can see one of the scars upon my cheek again. I keep on going till I have my mustache, bottom part of my chin and the slight stubble on the side and bottom of my chin. I look like how I remember back then. I look like how I feel right now. The man who I used to be, almost reborn in a sense. The utter surprise within my own eyes as I moved the towel from my face was insane. That was Asher Sanders, this is Asher Sanders.
With that being said and done, I head outside fully dressed as I'm sitting there to go to the barn to clean up my guns. I hadn't used the shotguns or the rifles in a while. It had been a minute. Bolt Action Rifle is picked up, gun oil applied and it's looking better than it ever did. Double Barreled Shotgun and Semi-Automatic, perfect. I was thrilled I would probably get to use these again and how could I forget my Lancaster Repeater? It was going to be a hell of a time going after Micah. I was actually looking forward to it. I got my two revolvers cleaned up too so they were ready for the double action I knew I could perform if needed. I put Luka's saddle back upon him and get it all within place. We usually took the saddle's off whenever we knew we wouldn't be riding our horses for a while. Just wanting them to be comfortable if I was honest. The boys weren't getting any younger and I knew it was gonna be hard to take this saddle off my horse for the last time and move it to a new one. With that, I choose to sit under a tree, just smoke a cigarette and watch as the sun is beginning to come over the hills. Knew it was almost about time everyone was waking up, I wasn't ready for the shock of myself shaving everything that I had upon my face, Nathan couldn't bear to part with his beard at this point. Hoped he would sometime, would love to see the male the way he used to back in the day too. I would never force or ask him anyway, wouldn't be right. The rooster is prompt today, quick to let out his noise right as the sun was beginning to come up a bit.

I hear Mrs. Adler letting out a yawn before her footsteps are coming towards the door. She's quick to open it and take a breath of the fresh air before her eyes widen a bit when she spots me. "Whoa there, did I go back in time when I slept here. You look just like the Asher I rode away from in eighteen ninety nine." She jokes before I allow a shrug to roll through my shoulders. "Ya look good, aging a bit makes that look on you seem more fittin'. Not all baby faced anymore." I give her a roll of my eyes before I see the kids alongside Selina exiting the house as well. She blinks as if she hasn't seen me like this before.
"Well, howdy cowboy. Have you seen my husband? Afraid I might sin if he don't find me soon." She looks me over with a smirk on her features.
"Ma'am, I ain't seen your husband. Think you need to write him a letter and let him know I'm gonna be takin' ya away for awhile." I pull her as close as I can with my own grin before she shakes her head. Running her hands over my stubble on my cheeks and then the actual facial hair I kept. "You look mighty handsome like this, not so much like a typical husband." Sadie just clears her throat as Arthur is looking up at her curiously and then back at us.
"Sorry--- Nathan is bringing the wagon. We'll have the kids with Lauren in the back. Sadie and I will ride our horses."

Selina gives us a nod and within moments, Nathan is coming up. He's surprised, but he doesn't question it at the moment. We load up the kids and everything we need before we're on the road headed for "Beecher's Hope", the place John and Abigail lived. I wasn't nervous to see John in a sense, but my heart was still racing. Another old face I was gonna get to see again for once.

Just remember all the people who matter. Those are the ones you'll see in the end and be with in the future.