𝔴𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔰𝔲𝔫 ⟡ ʀɖʀ2

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 𝟷𝟽

"Kid! Hey! Kid! Come outta it... C'mon."

There's that damn echoing of voices within my head again. It sounds like Sadie this time. She's sitting there telling me to come out of whatever I'm in right now and even I don't know what I'm in right now.
Am I dead? Is this what dying feels like?

"Asher, c'mon, kid. You gotta come back to us. Just come back."

I hear once more. But Sadie, I'm right here. I can hear you! I just can't see you. It's just dark, that's it. That's all I see. Sadie, where the fuck are you? Why can't I see you!
I'm confused more than anything. I don't know what to do or say. I hear some more words coming along too. "If he doesn't pull outta this, what happens then?" Selina? Sel! I'm here! I don't know where you are! Baby, fuck! I'm right here!
I'm practically screaming at the top of my lungs within my own mind.
"We wait. That's all we can do. He's hurt pretty badly. Shot in the shoulder, bruises. Just needs to heal. We aren't gonna let him go that easy, Selina. Don't you worry."
Miss Grimshaw? Me? I'm hurt? No... I... I know I am but what the fuck is happening! Where are you guys?! Just say something to me! Please!
"Just keep my best friend alive. That's it. He needs to live. She's havin' his goddamn baby."
"You think we don't know that Mr. Miller? We know. We're gonna get him through this."
Why am I alone here!? What the fuck did I do to deserve to be alone?
Their voices begin fading and I feel trapped once more.
Don't leave me here! Please! Fuck me...

       I don't remember anything else after those last few words that are uttered But I feel as though I am coming out of this, eyes are opening and  my mouth is dry as I'm seeing light for the first time. We're somewhere different and I see Selina asleep upright near me on a chair.
"S-Sel---" I can't even talk, I'm so parched and I'm starving. She doesn't hear me since I'm so quiet at the given moment. I just let my head rest back, I'm feeling the pain now. I really am and it's a lot all at once. I groan a bit as I'm trying to sit up.
"Oh hun, no, no... Shit. You're awake. Finally, thought we were goin' to have to bury you, Ash." Sadie's quick to come up to me, my eyes are still trying to adjust to the light as I'm looking around. "Here, drink. You literally haven't eaten in a few days, no drinks, nothing. You must me thirstier than a horse caught in the desert." I can't even reach up and she gently holds my head and tilts the cup for me, I nearly drink the whole thing before coughing a bit. "Alright, easy cowpoke. I know you ain't drank nothing recently but you're gonna choke and we ain't got time for that."
"Mm--- What--- Where are we?"
"Lakay. Figured them Pinkertons were gonna come for us at Shady Bell. No sign of Dutch, Arthur, Javier, Bill, or Micah yet. Nathan, he's alright. Nothin' bad happened to him. Got a little beat by the law leaving Saint Denis though. Killed them and got you guys back safe with Abigail."
"Sel--- She okay?"
"Girl is a tough one. Baby is too. No doubt, she's--- She never leaves you. Only ever so often for her own reasons obviously but--- She can't never leave you, Asher. Never. Swore up and down you were gonna see her the moment you woke up. If your throat wasn't so dry, sure you would've gotten her up. Tired today though, took her out earlier to help me hunt so Pearson can keep makin' us food. Gator sounds good I guess."
"You got her to kill a gator?" I question with a slight and amused laugh.
"Well, girl's had your guns the last couple days. Your shotgun blew that gator's head clean in half."
"Nasty, ya'll girls... God."
"Want me to wake her for you?"
"No... I'll do it when I'm ready to." I hiss in pain as I'm trying to move.
"Easy--- Easy. You're injured. Got a doctor to come and get that bullet out for you though. Almost went clean through you. You remember anything?"
"All I really remember is Abigail comin', then Nate helping her get me into the back of a carriage. Had a nice dream though--- We was all outta this mess. But Dutch, Bill, Micah, Lenny--- Nothing. They weren't there."
"Sounds beautiful. Sure we was all happy for once. Lenny... He--- He died too. Got shot on the roof we heard."
"Ah... God. That's--- Wow."
"Yeah. Heard Arthur took it pretty hard. Lenny was a good kid. Hosea though, that's gonna leave a crack in this gang."

I nod my head in agreement. "It will. He ain't gonna be here to keep Dutch in line."
She nods in agreement before she pulls out a medicine bottle for me. "Here, take some, so we can get you movin' 'round again. Losin' a hell of a lot of muscle just layin' 'round." I'm quick to take it and just lay back so everything could take effect. Sadie pats my shoulder that isn't injured and gives me a warm smile. "Seriously, thought we was gonna be burying you, Asher Sanders. Thought for sure."
I give her a shake of my head, smiling a bit up at her. "Not yet, Mrs. Adler. Not yet."
"Hopefully not ever--- I'm gonna head back out. Come out when you're ready. Won't tell no one you're awake so you can surprise 'em all."
A nod of my head as I just sigh deeply. I wasn't gonna tell anyone about the darkness. It was a little too much for me and I didn't want them to think I heard them the whole time. When I began to feel the medicine kicking in and my pain subsiding, I leaned myself up. I'm a little shaky standing and nearly fall before someone stops me. I look up and there's those goddamn green eyes. "Sel---"
"Asher! You fuckin'--- Lover boy. Gave me quite the scare."
She pulls me into a hug and I grit my teeth, a little too quick of a hug right there.
"Oops, I'm sorry."
"No--- It's okay. I... I'm so happy to see you again. So fuckin' happy."
"Happy to see you again, lover boy. So thrilled. Literally thought we were gonna lose you."
"Sadie told me. Said you guys were afraid of burying me."
"It was just a big risk, we didn't know if you were ever gonna come outta all that."
"Yet here I am."
"Here you are."

We smile at one another before I look down. Trying to regain my footing once more. "Sorry for wakin' you. Heard you've had one busy day."
"Oh yeah, I have. Hunting Gators is no joke, skinnin' them ain't either." I laugh at her words. "But you still did it. Super proud of my lady."
"Not gonna lie though, little jealous Mrs. Adler got to see you the moment you woke up."
"Tried to say somethin' to you, but--- I guess I haven't had much to eat or drink last few days. My throat and mouth were drier than Uncle's elbows." Laughs ring out once more before she watches me take some of my first steps since this all happened. No help, she knew I could do this on my own. Got all my balance back after a few steps and I'm leading us out to the front door. The light is even more intense out here but as soon as everyone sees me, cheers and surprised words come forth.
"My fuckin' buddy! Yes! You fuckin' pulled through." Nathan is quick to run up to me, Charles is there too and he's smiling like I ain't never seen him do before
"Knew you'd make it out alive, Asher, just knew it." Uncle states out loud and Miss Grimshaw comes up to me with something from a restaurant in Saint Denis.
"Here you go, something good to fill your starving belly with."
It's the lobster I had gotten. "Oh man, thank you Miss Grimshaw." She waves me away as she's off to go bug someone else.
"Want any of this, Sel?"
She shakes her head. "No, I already ate before I slept. Had some good lamb from Valentine." She really was branching out. I smile widely before I hear Jack's voice. "Uncle Asher is awake, momma!"
Abigail comes out of her shack and smiles as she's nearly rushing over, thankfully she knew better than to hug me right now. "You sweet and innocent— Well not really innocent but you sweet kid. You pulled out of that deep sleep pretty well. Still beat up looking but well."
"Thank you for savin' me. I could've very well died in that bank."

Abigail told me a couple times that I reminded her of her Jack when he got older and the life that they were living, I hoped for them as much as us that it didn't come down to that. They deserved a better life too. But that was all why she cared about me so much, cared about my life and what I was doing.
"What happened to John?"
"Idiot went and got himself arrested. Gonna hang soon I reckon. But we truly need everyone's help or at least Arthur to go save him. Dutch ain't gonna do nothing for him. He's the one who saw it happen and do nothin'."
"Dutch saw one of his boys get arrested by the law and did nothin'?"
She nods her head in agreement and truly, that made me question literally everything with Dutch. Who he was, what he was doing, it wasn't like him to leave someone in the cold like that. I just shake my head before I sigh deeply. He was so blinded by getting the money for this 'Tahiti' getaway that he doesn't really seem to have much of a care for any of us.
"Know when John is gonna be hanged? Maybe I can go---"
"Now don't you worry about John, we'll figure it out. Right now, you just need to rest up. Get your strength back."

As much as I want to protest, I don't want to be like that towards Abigail or anyone, if they insisted I wait to even leave this place, then I would do it. Guess my only prayers, if those even worked, were with Arthur at the moment. I could've given two shits about the others and that was saying something.
Same with John, just wanted those two safe and sound.