Stay With Me [Joshler]

Grown With You

Josh was always there for me no matter what. When I was younger I used to think of him as my guardian angel and sketch him with glowing wings and a halo as bright as his sparkling smile.

I sit at the breakfast bar staring into the haze of dust particles floating around in the golden morning sun. Josh looks impossibly beautiful, like a mirage in this dried desert of the world. A single glimmering, holy drop of water clutched desperately in my hands as the rest of the world fades away in dehydration. He turns to me briefly in his preparation of breakfast and the golden light reflects onto his face as he squints a smile at me with his adorable pink tongue poking out between his teeth. I giggle at him which makes him beam proudly as he places a plate of bacon and eggs on toast down in front of me.

"Thanks." I say, eagerly shoving a rasher of bacon in my mouth. Josh gives a small burst of laughter and places a knife and fork in front of me with a skeptical look.

"No problem. You ready for school?" He asks glancing at the dodgy clock hanging on the kitchen wall. I nod with a mouthful of food and kick out my shoes, laces swinging freely. He gives me a look of judgment yet comes around to sit in the stool beside me. Patting his lap, he gestured for my shoe, which I swing up onto his leg for him to tie as I finish my breakfast. We both finish within seconds of each other and I shoot him a quick nod.

"Ready."

****

Primary school wasn't all too bad but gosh high school life was honestly not great for me, I couldn't say it was entirely better or worst than life at home but it most certainly was not enjoyable. I'm not gonna lie, I am a fairly easy target for bullies with my frail physic, dark, out of style clothing and anxious, shaky personality plus my panic attacks and absolute inability to fight back.

Right now I was really despising myself for being so pathetic. My head aches from the metal which had been rammed against the back of my skull as my pal Nico held me by the collar up to a, probably now dented, locker. He was bitterly spitting insults into my face most of which I wasn't entirely listening to. I'd heard them all before; pathetic, tragedy, waste of life, retard, emo, loser, pansy, fag or its cousin faggot, shithead, poof. The list goes on. Honestly, you name it and I could pretty certainly guarantee that I've been named it. I've pretty much managed to block most of them out. Well at least in the moment, later on I'll probably have a complete break down as everything catches up with me.

"-you miserable rat-" Oh now that's a new one. If I wasn't fighting back a panic attack right now I might even find this funny but when you're possibly only moments away from getting your lights punched out it's somewhat difficult to find humor in the situation.

Nico shook my collar and knocked me back into the locker again "Are you even fucking listening to me you dirty little faggot?" I mean damn I hadn't even come out at school and yet here I was being called gay slurs. I look past his shoulder at where his buddy Dylan was messing with my backpack which lay in a pile of papers, like a puddle of its own blood, which had fluttered out from the busted zip where he'd practically ripped it from my back. My old battered ukulele case lies nearby, seemingly undamaged. I really hope it's okay.

I gasp, the air is ripped from my lungs along with a sickening pain in my stomach as Nico punches me with surprising force and throws me to the ground. Actually it shouldn't be that surprising, Nico is in fact built like a freaking house. I groan clutching my stomach and cursing under my breath. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Bracing and tending for another hit, from previous experience what was coming next was most likely a solid kick to the ribs and some hella bad bruising.

"Hey you fucking dill weed! Leave him the fuck alone." Someone growls, his voice echoing down the empty hall. Josh. Come to save my sorry behind for the thousandth time. I really wish I was better than this. I really wish I didn't have to depend on Josh and drag him into my issues.

But there he is, striding down the hall with his boots thudding dully on the lino floors. His metal baseball bat is swinging threateningly by his side as he grips onto it with white knuckles. Nico scoffs at him but I can see him tense up fractionally "Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?" he taunts toughly, leaning over me. I smirk at the sight of him flinching as Josh swings the bat upwards.

"Do you really wanna stay around and fucking find out man?" Josh warned, now standing right in Nico's face, shoulders squared and bat nudging into his chest as Josh pushed him back. Dylan was already on his feet, looking willing to flee. Nico lashed out, grabbing the bat between them as they wrestled for a moment before Josh got the upper hand and slamming him back into the lockers. "Scram." He spat, banging the locker menacingly with his bat, the sudden metal clang making Nico jump. Dylan had already scampered off as Nico shrugged his shoulder, fixing up his jacket and trying to walk off with his dignity, muttering curses and lame insults under his breath. He looked me dead in the eyes, wary and disgusted "Whatever Joseph, you're completely mental you freak."

I drag myself into a sitting position against the wall of lockers, wincing as I rest my head back. In an instant Josh is knelt down beside me with his warm hand under my chin, inspecting my face and asking me endless questions. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? Have those brats been bothering you recently? You gotta remember they're just a couple of morons with no life."

I mumble, shrugging him off with a sigh "Yeah I know, it's fine, I'm fine."

Standing back up he offers his hand down for me to take, I grip it and let him pull me from the ground. I drop his hand and attach my arms to around his waist for dear life, my face pressed to his chest "Thanks Josh and I'm really sorry..."

Josh holds me with his arm around my shoulders, rocking us gently from side to side "No Tyler don't you dare start thinking like that. Come on let's get home."

I smile weakly "Okay." Josh helps repack my bag and gather up my belongings before walking with me to the school car park. I can feel Josh gradually getting all hyped up as he walks beside me until he finally bursts.

"Damn we fricking shredded them man." He exclaims after a few silent moments of walking, he's wearing a proud smile and his arms are swinging heavily in a slight swagger of confidence and full bodied personality. "They went scurrying off like the pair of filthy cowards they are. We should definitely carry a bat around with us more often." I can't help but admire the way he holds himself, like nothing in this world could ever bring him down.