~kehlani's pov~
Seconds have turned into minutes, then minutes into hours, hours into days and days into month, and so on. It's been 7 months and that damn day where i asked (well i guess i told her to) hayley to marry me, has been stuck in my head all this time.
I attempted to talk to her after she got out of bed. My body froze and just jolted towards her making her catch me. I covered it up saying i wanted a hug. Can you imagine that? Yeah i picture that in my head constantly, hating myself for doing that shit.
Things are now settled, i can say. Me and hayley have been a bit distant for one reason. Ok now here comes the best part...well not for many at least. I went to go get...
"Kehlani!"
I look up from my laptop to see hayley with a hand on her hip with a raised eyebrow staring right at me. "Yes?" I ask impatiently.
"Can you please just pay attention to what I'm trying to say?" She asks calmly.
I close my laptop and set it aside. "What?"
"I believe i owe you an apology..." she starts off. My phone begins to ring before she can continue. "Hold on," i take my phone answering shaina.
"Come hang out with me! Now! I'm outside. Bye!" She says quickly and hangs up before i can answer. I get out of bed lazily. I start changing into more comfortable clothes. "Forget it" i hear hayley huff as she slams the door.
She's going to have to pay for that later. She can slam her apartment doors all she wants but mine? I ignore it for now as i try to get ready.
Once I'm done i walk out the door. I pause in the doorway. Hayley gets up from the couch staring at me. "Go" she points inside the room. I know exactly why she told me to do so. I put my hand over my mouth and run towards the bathroom. Hayley follows quickly behind.
I bend over the toilet immediately throwing up. Hayley rubs my back for comfort. "You...are not going out. You will go and lay in that bed while i prepare something for you, understood?" She says in a serious manner.
I nod. When I'm done i brush my teeth and wash my mouth. Fuck, that was disgusting. The thing is i will have morning sickness for a long time now. But this is what i signed up for.
~hayley's pov~
Kehlani is now my responsibility. I'm gladly doing all of this for her. I could picture myself with a family and being married and all but i didn't really think about that day coming too soon. I wanted things to come at their right time and pace. I wanted things to be a little different.
I just really hope we both don't regret any of what we have done. Kehlani got inseminated a couple weeks ago i didn't know until a few days ago. She said she did it for herself rather than for anyone else. I can support her for that. You shouldn't really care what anyone thinks as long as, something or someone, makes you happy.
She never really asked me personally if i can take care of her or even her child when he or she is born. I won't expect her to ask me either after all the times she has heard me say that i don't want to get married or have children anytime soon. And I'm not going to wait for that moment either. I rather my actions speak rather than my mouth.
I want to show her that i am willing to set my music, my job, and everything else in order to take care of her and her unborn child. I want to show her that she can take up all my time and i wouldn't hesitate on giving her my whole life.
Not so long ago my mother mailed me a ring. It was her mother's engagement ring. I'm glad i checked the mail first or kehlani would have found it. My heart is aching, my body is just wanting to kneel down on one knee in front of kehlani and ask her to be the center of my universe.
I'm scared, i really am. I have to admit that. She probably will say no and I'm ready for it...i think.
Maybe it's about time i actually admit to myself that i do want to be with kehlani, forever. That i am actually ready to get married. I don't know about the having a child and all part but we will both learn along the way. That's what part of being inside a committed relationship is about. People growing up and learning together.
I grab the plate that has all of kehlani's favorites fruits and bring it to her room. "Fuck!" Kehlani yells impatiently.
I try to hold in my laugh as i see her struggling, wanting to take off her shirt she got it stuck. I set the plate on her nightstand and go to help her. "I can do it" she says as she tries once again.
"Let me help you, keh" i say. She pouts but cooperates.
"Ok now sit back and rest, from now on anything you need just tell me" i say softly.
Kehlani looks at me with a weird look. "Since when did you care for pregnant women?" She asks. I can see that she is being serious and not just another joke of hers.
"I'm just trying to..." i start off. I'm not really sure what to say. I'm not trying to JUST help. I'm also wanting to take care of her.
"To what? What are you trying to do, hayley? First you say you don't children. I'm now pregnant and i know for sure that you won't want to take care of this child! What are you pretending, hayley? Are you going to take care of me through pregnancy and then leave me? You weren't even willing to marry me in the first place, how am i supposed to know this isn't some sort of...i don't know. I really do love you hayley. I really wanted to have a family with you. I just don't know what is going on with you anymore though. What are you doing?" She snapped.
I guess she is partially right. I did indeed say i didn't want children and that i didn't want to get married. And is said i was ready for this type of response. But then i said i thought. And i also said i was scared...
"We need to start all over again...we started off so bad. I cheated on marla at first. She let us be. From there we didn't even know what we were because we only fucked. We finally confessed our feelings to each other. I proceeded to tell you i didn't want children or marry you. And i fucking regret saying that. Every word...i regret. God, kehlani, you literally make my heart beat! How could i not marry you? How could anyone ever say no to you? Only my dumb ass said no. Because I'm stupid.
As i can see you believe i don't want to marry you. I would love to nurture and care for that dear child. I would love to take care of you. I would definitely call that angel my own child if you allowed me, but that's only if i haven't lost my opportunity," i walk out the room and grab the small red box that was in my bag.
I come back and throw it at her from the doorway. "I actually did plan on proposing to you but you seem to doubt it a bit so I'm going to leave it up to you. And don't ever...EVER in your life doubt that i care for pregnant women" i say defensively.
