~hayley's pov~
I look at kehlani who is in her beautiful wedding dress. She looks absolutely gorgeous, mesmerizing, anything you can come up with that is positive. I can't believe today is the day she will become my wife. Everything is so surreal.
My dad is behind me and my mom is behind kehlani. I look like a mess right now from crying. My gorgeous girl was crying too but she obviously looks good even when crying.
My thoughts are interrupted by the priest. It's kehlani's turn to talk now.
"But before you say "i do" i have a confession" i interrupt. I turn to face the crowd. I'm sweating and I'm nervous.
"I'm a homosexual."
Everyone gasps.
Yeah that never happened. Nor will it happen. At least i don't think so. I'm currently sitting in the middle of my empty apartment. Everything i had is gone. I lost everything. The most important things to me...poof! Gone!
I grab the empty bottle next to me and throw it against the wall with all the force that is left in me. It shatters completely. Some glass bounced on the wall making it go to my face. I now have cuts on my face thanks to me.
Thanks, hayley.
This is what it has come to. Kehlani left me...
All because of me. I just couldn't control my feelings. I just had to ruin everything. Jealousy is really a true poison, isn't it?
I mean she did hang out with shaina a little too much but that still doesn't justify my actions i guess.
One time kehlani attempted to leave because she had a music video to work on.
Yeah, that also didn't end up well. I stopped her and told her that she couldn't go while she was pregnant. She got mad.
"I'm not jealous. I'm just trying to protect you," i yelled. Lies. The first part was a lie. The second one wasn't though.
"Maybe you should control your emotions and not me" she replied. That cut deeper than anything else. No...her leaving me did.
I tore down everything i had in this apartment. Marla decided to move in with Lauren to a new place. So I'm all alone now.
"I'm...happy!" I yell outloud. Lies again. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. And more lies. Why am i doing this to myself? What am i going to benefit from all of this? What were all these bottles of wine, beer, and other alcohol drinks worth? What will this damn broken glass do?
The furniture that i destroyed doesn't matter anymore. I destroyed a whole future, that's what's killing me.
7 months, she was 7 months pregnant when she left me. By this point she is 9. 2 months without her. Let's do the math here..that's like 60 days! That's a whole year!
I'm horrible at math yet the cute girls in high school were in math so that's why I'm so good at it because i payed attention very well.
This is all drunk talk. Don't listen to me.
"You should go see kehlani."
Or maybe i should listen...
I rush to kehlani's front door. I freeze when I'm about to knock. My breathing is getting out of control. No, no, no, not again! Damn it!
I try steadying my breathing by taking deep and slow breaths. I finally knock on the door. Am i still drunk? I feel crazy doing this. There could be many results out of this. It's like a suicide mission on my part. If she refuses to talk to me I'm just going to die.
The door swings open after a few more tries. I hear kehlani gasp.
"Hayley. What are you doing here?"
I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I'm asking myself that same exact question. What the hell am i doing here anyways? I can't just expect her to open the door and run to my arms begging me to take her back because i know damn well that won't happen. Not after what I've done. Or i can't just barge into her apartment and say "you're mine now." Hell! Imagine if i did. Wouldn't that be sexy?
I shrug. "I'm not so sure myself" i decide to say. I can't say anything else or i will lose my tongue.
"Want to come in?" She asks with that raspy voice of hers. God, i missed that voice so much. I missed everything about her. I glance down to see that her belly has grown a lot. Wow! She looks amazing. She looks beautiful.
I nod. She steps aside so i can fit through. We take a seat across from each other in her living room. Not much has changed ever since i left. Maybe a couple of more pictures appeared on her shelf but from there, it's the same. Actually..something did change.
The air.
There is a lot of tension in the air. Like a lot. Seriously, it's everywhere, too much-
"Did you come to talk or something?" Kehlani breaks the silence.
I look at her. I just want to go to her and tell her i love her and that I'm sorry for everything that I've caused. I want to kiss her and bring her to me.
"I said i didn't know. I just wanted to know how you were. It's been 2 months. I see the belly has grown- not that you have gotten fat, i mean, you do need to gain weight during pregnancy, wait- no. That's not what i meant, i did but not like that-" i get interrupted. I should really go mute at this point.
"I know what you meant, hayley. I'm doing perfectly fine. Adeya is great, she is growing perfectly fine as well" kehlani says as she leans back on the couch.
"Adey- what?" I choke on my own spit. She named her without me? Oh...right. We aren't together anymore.
"Adeya" kehlani answers firmly. I nod. "That's beautiful" i whisper.
I get up and head towards the door. "I should probably get going. I have things to do." Lies once again.
"You don't have anything to do except for getting drunk you moron."
That, my dear friend, is correct. I don't want to be here anymore though. I see kehlani get up from the couch with a frown plastered on her face.
"Are you sure? You can stay longer if you'd like," she is as desperate as i am. We both still want each other and we both know it.
I turn to face her with a small smile. "What happened to your face?" She brings her hand up to my face making me flinch when she touches a few cuts.
I shake my head. "Nothing. It doesn't matter" i say.
"It does to me" she mumbles before taking my hand in hers. I can't do this to myself. This is pure torture. I don't know why i came to this place, i knew my heart would ache. I'm so stupid.
I slip my hand out slowly and carefully. I turn to face the door.
"Goodbye."
This isn't a dream of hayley's or her imagination, just to clarify. Will it end like this? What do you think?
