DEFYING THE ODDS

38.

Jema's

"Sure ka bang maglalaro ka this conference love?" I ask Deanna as she's preparing for training.

Its been two months, malapit na mag start ang conference.

"Oo naman love kasama na ako sa line up as back up setter ni ate Jia, so watch niyo ako nila baby ha." She said

I'm happy that her passion in Volleyball came back. Naalala ko pa how she hated Volleyball and seeing her again on court magkahalong kaba at saya ang nararamdaman ko.

Takot ako na baka mabash na naman siya, baka makumpara na naman siya sa iba.

"Wag ka kasi magalala I'll be fine, there will always be judgement and comparison syempre si Ate Jia kapalitan ko but I will take them as positive and as a challenge to do better." She said as if na basa niya iniisip ko.

Weeks gone by like a wind start na ng conference.

"Aren't you gonna watch with the kids love?" She asked.

"Manununod kami love sa television." I said.

She stares at me as if may nasabi akong mali.

"Aren't you gonna watch live? It's my first time again since I graduated to play Volleyball." She said.

Mukhang nagtatampo siya.

"Sige manununod akong live sabay na tayo."

"What about the kids?" She's insisting on bringing the kids to watch live.

Sa totoo lang ayaw ko, I don't want to expose my kids in that kind of setting where in all eyes will be on them.

Ganon pala yun, noon when we planned to have kids iniisip namin that they will be the future volleyball player like us, pero nung pinanganak ko na sila it all changes, I get too protective over them ayaw ko majudge sila or masabihan sila ng kung ano ano ng dahil sa pamilya n meron sila.

Hindi ko sila kinakahiya I just want to protect them from others who doesn't understand that this kind of Family exist.

"Wag na muna siguro love, isa pa hindi pa naman nila alam yan, maingay din doon baka matakot lang sila, ako nalang ang manunuod." Palusot ko.

Tumango naman siya.

Hindi naman namin nililihim ni Deanna sa social media kung anong meron kami, though our wedding is private may mga pictures kaming in upload sa social media for them to know na we got married pero hindi pa nila alam na may anak na kami. Deanna posted some pictures but we never confirmed or denied it.

Deanna's

I don't understand while Jema is hiding our children. Napapansin ko na sa tuwing gusto ko lumabas kasama ang mga bata she always insist na wag na, then recently I want to bring gthe kids for our game ayaw niya parin.

Our kids are starting to walk now kaya naman nakakatuwa na sila kasama I want to bring them in the park to play with them I want to teach them Volleyball as early as possible.

Malapit nadin ang birthday nila I want to give them a big party though di pa namin napag uusapan ni Jema. Jema is starting to have a light work out too para sa conditioning ng body niya kaya busy na din siya minsan she's planning to be back in Volleyball kasi pag allowed na siya.

I can imagine our children watching our games lalo't pag nakakaintindi na sila.

"Love sama ko sa training ang mga bata."

"Wag na love maistorbo lang naman kayo niyan need niyo magfocus malakas makakalaban niyo next game."

"Bakit na papansin ko ayaw mo na nilalabas ang mga bata,kinakahiya mo ba sila?" I can't help but to asked.

"Hindi ko sila kinakahiya."

"Then why are you keeping them? Bawal sila idala sa mall, bawal sila idala sa park, bawal dito bawal doon." Medyo tumaas ang boses ko.

"Pinoprotektahan ko lang sila Deanna, ayaw kong pagdaanan nila ang pinagdaanan natin." She said

"Pinoprotektahan saan? Sa mga tao na kapaligid satin Jema? We can't hide them forever. Jema pagdadaanan at pagdadaanan nila ang mga negatibong bagay kaya nga nandito tayo para gabayan sila e, We will make them feel accepted kung hindi sila tanggap ng ibang tao."

"Hindi ako handa sa mga sasabihin nila ayaw ko sila masaktan." I understand Jema it's mother's instinct. She's just being protective I get her point.

Pagbalibaliktarin man kasi namin ang lahat we are different, sobrang konti palang ng LGBT Family sa Pilipinas at dahil sa hindi pa lubos na tanggap ng karamihan ang ganito may masasabi at masasabi talaga ng ibang tao samin.

I care about my children too, pero ayaw ko na lumaki sila na pakiramdam nila na iba sila, gusto ko silang lumaking normal, gusto ko ipakita sa kanila na walang mali sa pamilya nila.

Hindi na ko nakipagtalo kay Jema, ayaw ko ng pinagtataluhan namin kung pano palalakihin ang mga anak namin. I want her to realize that there's nothing wrong with our family.

Sa pagsisimula ng Conference naging busy ako, I need to attend training and go to work at the same time.

Lage ako nakakauwi ng late, dahil narin sa ongoing na ang tournament maaga ako umaalis for training.

At first it was okay until I feel that nawawalan na ako ng oras sa asawa at mga anak ko.

Uuwi ako tulog na sila them aalis ako ng maaga tulog parin sila.

One night I decided to talk to Jema one thing I learned from everything we been through is proper communication can help a lot in a relationship.

I hug her.

"Tired?" She asked umiling ako.

"Wala na kong time sainyo kasi sobrang busy ko na."

"I understand naman, okay lang yun isa pa tuwang tuwa ang mga bata pag nakikita nila ang Dada nila sa TV." She said

"Hindi yun okay sakin." I said.

I realize having a family will definitely change your priorities kung noon I can be as busy as I want in work  or my focus is to play volleyball like noong college pa ako ngayon I felt like I'm a bad parent for being busy and not having enough time for them.

"Love, don't over think kasi they understand your busy ikaw kaya nagtatrabaho para sa atin tsaka after conference naman balik na ulit tayo sa dati. Masaya ako makita kang naglalaro love masaya kami sa mga ginagawa mong effort para saamin.
Wag mo isipin na nagkukulang ka you are giving us more than what can we asked for and I'm so lucky to have you as my partner love."

Reassuring me somehow ease my mind. I'm lucky to have Jema in my life she is my constant reminder that I'm enough that I don't need to be someone or do something to prove my self worthy of her.

I kiss her torridly,

I miss kissing her,

I miss her.

"Andami mong arte alam ko naman ang gusto mo eh." She said in between our kisses.

It's been a while since we make love andami kasing abala lalo na ang mga bata.

I smiled at her bigla niya ako tinulak at nakatawang tumakbo papunta sa kwarto namin.

Hinabol ko siya we are like teen agers sneaking out.

I saw her checking the kids in our room, nang makalapit ako I hugged her from behind and kiss her neck

"Sshh wag kang magulo sandali lang." She said.

"Love....hmm.." I continue kissing her neck.

Pinahinto niya ako, then biglang hinala sa guess room.

"Make it quick baka magising ang mga bata." She said hiding her excitement.

"I like it lets beat the time. This is so exciting." I said as I quickly remove our clothes and make the most of our time together in this room.

A/N
Sorry sa Errors.
Thank you sa support.
Last 2. :)