Lost After Midnight

~Pills~

{•Edited•}
~Amor's POV~

        "You've been my most surprising patient yet," Dr.Luz says. I look down, tears brimming my eyes. My mom is sitting in the waiting room for me to come out, so we can leave. Goodbye with my parents completely broke me. My dad never cries, but last night and this morning I was a mess. Santi was confused because I didn't want him knowing the situation. I would rather him still think I'm his sister because I am.
      "I don't want to leave," I say, my voice cracking. "Everything is just gonna get worse and I'll have no help. There will be no stopping me from doing something to myself." This time he's not writing anything down, it's more like a normal, depressing, emotional conversation.
     "If there was something I could do, I would help you. You have my number, hopefully, you didn't tear it up that day I gave it to you; call me if you need help." I nod, whipping my tears.
     "Things were starting to get better, just a little bit, but they were." He stands up with me, giving me a quick hug. As soon as the door opens my mom is on her feet ready to go.
     "You look a mess," she says, taking out a wipe from her bag. She looks up at Dr.Luz. "Whoa, I wasn't expecting you to be so handsome."
      "I'm married," he says. "I just wanted to let you know that if anything happens to her, I will know it's on you. Be good to her." He squeezes my shoulder before calling the next person in.
     "We didn't need him anyways." I did.
     •••••••

"It hasn't changed," I say, setting my bag down next to the bed. "Except for the bed obviously. Thank you." It's a struggle to be polite when I to scream. My mom smiles brightly, really not seeing how this affecting me. I don't think I'll be able to make it a month here.
"Yeah, I thought about painting it before I went to town, but didn't know know what you liked," she said. From the time she got there, she knew it would end like this. "You know, except for black to match your whole depressing thing." My stomach falls to the ground. I hate that because she's making me mad, I'm crying; I'm an angry crier.
"It's not a thing," I tell her. She sighs, slumping her shoulders.
"Come on, it's not hard to be happy. You're weird acting like this. Just put a smile in your face to make me feel better if anything," she tells me. What do you think I've been doing? "Plus, it's not that big of a deal; you'll live."
"You'll understand when I end up browning myself," I mumble. Her eyes grow wide. "Or shoot myself. There's a lot of options in ways to end it. I've always wondered that if I-if I ever did go through with it, how would I do it?" Her jaw clenches.
"Don't joke about that," she says, slapping my shoulder. "Kev should be home soon." I stop in my tracks from walking to the window.
    "You're back with Kev?" I ask. She nods. Kevin is my moms off and on serious boyfriend. They started dating when I was very young, broke up when my grandma neatly killed him out after finding out he was hitting me, then hit back together. He didn't lay a hand in me again until I turned fifteen. It was no longer hitting, it was a different type of abuse.
     "Yeah," She says. "Isn't that great? I think him and I are gonna do great this time around."
     ••••••••
     
       I poke at my food, staring down at the table while Kev and my mom talk. He looks exactly like he did the last time I saw him; like a less scary, mean looking version of my father. I guess you can say she was looking for a replacement since she couldn't get my dad.
     "How does it feel to be back?" He asks. I force a smile, not making eye contact.
     "Good, I guess." He sighs, smiling. His hand falls on my leg, making me shoot up. "Excuse me I need to use the bathroom." I don't give them enough time to reply before I'm taking off upstairs. It makes me feel sick just to be in this room again. Once I'm alone, I start hyperventilating, my whole body shaking from anxiety. My chest hurts and tears are streaming down my face.
      I want to yell or break something. I've done nothing to deserve this, nothing. Locking the door, my attention is set on my bed. Getting down on the floor and opening it, I find the full body of pills. I stopped taking the car he antidepressants after a few months of them doing me no justice, but I brought them just in case I wanted to try again; or maybe it was because I knew I would do this in the back of my mind.
     "I can do this," I tell myself. I'm guess overdose is how I'm gonna go. Opening the bottle I walk to my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. My mind takes me back to how many times Adriel called me beautiful; I'm a fucking mess.
     I turn the water on and grab the small cup in the corner of the counter for washing out my mouth, filling it with water. My heart beats fast as I try to stop my crying. My vision is starting to get blurry.
     Pouring a large amount of the pills into the counter I take a deep breath, grabbing three and staring down at them. It's gonna are more than this, but I'd rather not choke.
     My phone goes off in my pocket three times. I set them down and look down at my lit up screen.
     Dad: How's it going?
     Dad: Your mother isn't answering my messages.
     Dad: We miss you.

AN: Ahhhh shit is going down! Wahaha! I'm evil and I LOVE IT! I'm so excited for the next few chapters of this. Side note, I can't believe it's already Friday. This week has gone by too fast. Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed!
     Question: What do you think will happen? What do you think about the current situation?
    Please check out my other stories, comment, vote, and share! Believe in yourself -Vaeh
     Enjoy the daddy 🤤😉