Lost After Midnight

•Satisfied•

{•Unedited•}
~Amor's POV~

"You finally did it?" Nina asks happily. I nod, looking at my lap shyly. I don't know why I told her, but it was a stupid thing to do because now she's acting crazy. "Give me the details! How big is he? Was he gentle or was he rough?"
     "I'm not giving you those details." She rolls her eyes, parking. "I'm too tired for this."
    "Come on, you hardly stayed out with us last night," she says. "Just few a few hours? Please?" Sighing, I nod. She holds up her pinky finger childishly for me to promise her. Instead of doing it, I get out of the car.
    "Twice in two days? Has someone possessed your body?" Marcus says when he sees me. I keep my eyes away from Adriel, not wanting to even look at him after that dream I had. It's not that it was bad, it was very good, but it was wrong of me.
"Maybe, cause I'm confused by it too." He chuckles, jogging over to the car to help Nina. Adriel moves closer to me, his hands tucked into his faded black jeans. I hate to admit it, he looks good.
"You look very beautiful tonight," he says. Despite me not wanting to, I blush bright red. Nina and Marcus come over before he can say anything else. Thank god. I release a deep breath as I look at the water.
     "She forgot the beer."
     "Good," Adriel says. Marcus glares at him, flipping him off. "We can go get some if you want," he says.
    "We?" He just hums in response.
     "Yes, please," Nina says. I sigh, grabbing my car keys from her and handing them to Adriel. He looks down at them with a cocked brow. "She doesn't like to drive. Gives her anxiety."
      "Everything gives me anxiety." He shrugs, following me to the car. I get in the passages side, buckling myself without a word to him. Of course I would have rather had him go alone, but it's not like I can't handle this. It's just those damn flashbacks from my dream coming back to play around in my mind.
     "I read some of your letters," he says, keeping his dues locked on the road. I tense, remembering some of the things I wrote.
    "Honestly, I hardly remember what's in those," I say. He glances over at me, eyes soft. "Can I ask you something?" I ask. He nods, his grip tightening in the steering wheel. "What happened with your dad?"
     "I wasn't expecting that," he says with a chuckle. It's not the good kind. "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't seen him since the day I left. There hasn't been a reason. For us to meet again and I hope I never had to see him again."
     I nod, taking in a shaky breath. I shouldn't of asked that, cause now I just want to ask more. "What about the relationship with your mom?"
    "It's better," he says. I sigh out of relief. He deserves to have at least one good relationship with a parent. "We don't talk much, but she's written me a few times. It's mostly my sister telling me she says hi. I don't really care too much about it."
      "That's good at least." He mods, pulling up to the liquor store.
     "I'll be back." He gets out and jogs inside the store. I groan, running my hands down my face dramatically. Bits and pieces from that very realistic, detailed dream keeps making us way through my brain. The way he touched me. How good he had made me feel. The way he was so vocal with me. Everything about him in that moment was perfect.
       It's not that I didn't enjoy this morning with Luz, I did, very very much. But the curiosity is what's eating me alive. What would it be like to be with Adriel sexually? The first doesn't really count, I could hardly enjoy it due to the pain I had been in. But what about now?
     It makes me feel like shit that I would even think about such a thing. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I love Luz. Everything about him is perfect for me and he's such a great man. He has his things together, we're both very mature, we work well together...we just fit. There isn't a better person for me than him.
     The door opening pulls me out of thoughts. He gets back in, reaching in the back to set the heavy looking box of beer on the seat. The close up view of the muscles in his biceps flexing makes my mouth go dry. I force myself to look away, my face heating up.
    "You okay?" He asks. I nod frantically, clearing my throat. He pulls out of the parking space, shifting in his seat. "It feels weird to be around...peace."
     "Is it how they make it seem in the movies?" He nods, jaw clenching.
      "Worse," he says. "Part of me wishes I never chose this, but it also feels right." I look over at him, turning more to face him.
    "You-You said you didn't like the affects it has. Do you have PTSD?"
     "I guess you could you say that," he says. "I have dreams that are more like flashbacks and I can't handle loud noises for shit. Everything else I'm fine with; hell, a belt gives me more of a panic attack," he says with a laugh. I don't say or do anything, not sure if that was a genuine joke.
     "I'm sorry," I say. He shrugs, glancing over at me. I straighten up, looking around. "I think you took a wrong turn." He squints his eyes, looking at one of the street signs. "I could have sworn it said Maxon Street like five minutes ago."
      "Maybe you should wear some glasses," I say. He rolls his eyes. "Seriously? Can you see the stop light?" He stays quiet.
    "I can see it. It's just...blurry." Oh dear lord, I'm driving with a blind man. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone.
    "Pull over and I'll drive back," I say. He nods, pulling over to the side next to a house. We eat out and rush around the car to switch places. "You should get some glasses."
      "I don't need glasses." I look over at him, my brows raised. "Okay maybe I do, but that a not a good look for me."
    "Maybe not, but it's better than hurting yourself or someone else without them." I start  fix the seat so I'm not so far away from the wheel.
    "Shorty."
    "I'm not short. You're just a giant."
    "Six three is not a giant, just a little too tall. You though, your a tiny little creature." I giggle, still yet to start driving. "Seriously, when we were together, my back would cramp from bending down to kiss you."
    "Well I'm sorry for hurting you," I say teasingly. He rests his head back, smiling at me. "This reminds me of something," I say with a small smile. He glances over at me, the sunset reflecting against his eyes bringing out the yellow.
     "Of what?"
      "That you have no sense of direction," I say. He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. Oh please don't do that. I take my jacket off, making sure not to slap him when doing so. His eyes burn into me as I sit back, trying to relax. "What?"
     "Nothing. I just haven't seen you in so long and I was expecting...I don't know what I was expecting, but you got somehow more beautiful." My heart beat picks up even more. I hate compliments so much. "Luz is a lucky, lucky man. Especially if he's the one leaving hickies on your neck." My hand flies to cover that spot that I thought was well hidden. "Is he satisfying you though if my question?"
      "What?" I ask in shock. How did this conversation take such a turn? Can we please go back to your horrible eye sight?
     "Come on? You know what I'm talking about," he says. "Have you two had sex?" My eyes widen.
    "T-that's none of your business." He leans in a little, elbow places on the divider.
     "If you two had and it was good you would be telling me off right now." I take deep breaths, shaking my head. "We both know how good I can make you feel."
     "Why are you suddenly saying these things?" 
     "How much has changed within the last three years?" He asks, his voice smooth. I scoot closer to the door. I know he won't do anything I don't want, but I'm still nervous.
    "N-not a lot. I'm still the same person. The same person that does not like to be spoken to like this."
    "The same person who wrote those letters about how much you missed me despite being with Luz?" I suddenly feel like I'm being suffocated. It's not that I'm scared, I'm not at all, but I feel uncomfortable, which makes me panic. Everything makes me panic. "What did you miss about me?"
     "Knowing that you were okay," I say with tears in my eyes. "Nothing else; nothing like you're suggesting. I'm very much in love with who I'm with."
     "Then why were writing that you loved and missed me when you were with him?" My eyes search his.
    "Cause at the time I did still love you. Not anymore," I say. His face falls. "I love Luz, nothing will change that. Until the day I either die or he says he doesn't love me anymore, I will still love him. And for you to say those things to me, about my relationship, is extremely disrespectful."
   "I'm sorry," he says, turning away from me.
   "I'm just gonna drop you off and I'm gonna go home. Can you give Nina a ride back with Marcus." He nods.
    "You don't have to leave. I'm really sorry. Enjoy yourself the rest of the night. I'll leave instead," he says. I shake my head, starting to drive again.
    "No, I want to go home anyways. I don't feel so good anymore."
     •••••••
      
     I close the door hard behind me, taking deep breaths. As I drove I got more panicked from being uncomfortable, which is now a full blown panic attack. Luz comes in from his room, sweater in hand.
     "Amor," he says with concern. I squeeze my eyes shut, my chest starting to hurt. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and helps me other to the couch. I choke of my own breathing, holding onto him. He shushes me, running his hands up and down my arms. "It's okay. I'm here, everything is okay. Deep breaths, love."
     "I-I'm sorry," I say breathlessly.
     "You didn't do anything wrong, baby."
     "I-I gave Adriel the letters that I never sent him. I don't know why I did, but I did. I said I missed him when I was with you , I don't anymore." He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest.
    "It's okay, I know what you said in those," he says. "If they meant anything to you now, you would have never let me read them. I know you love me." I nod, pressing my lips to his. He runs his fingers through my hair, his lips slowly moving with mine.
     I pull back and rest my forehead against his, looking into his eyes. "I don't deserve you." He smiles, pecking my lips.
     "I think we're both very deserving of each other."

AN: I freaking loved this chapter! I think it shows how much they've changed and have grown. Also can I tried to make it come off across in ten scene but if it didn't, she wasn't scared of him. She was uncomfortable, which made her nervous. She hadn't had a panic attack in a long time, which is why it was so bad. I really hope you guys enjoyed!!
    Question: Are you team Adriel or Luz? What would you like to see happen (I need suggestions 😂)!
    Please check out my other stories, comment, vote, and share! Believe in yourself -Vaeh