Lost After Midnight

•Let Him In•

      {•Unedited•}
                            ~Amor's POV~

      "I'm scared to tell people," I say. "I've let them all think I'm doing better; I don't want to let them down." He sits back in his chair, crossing his arms. How the hell did it go from me wanting to never come here to being totally fine with it? "What do I do?"
     "That's up to you," he says. My brows draw together in confusion. He's the therapist, he's the one that's supposed to tell what I should and shouldn't do. "I can only tell you want I think, cause if you don't want to talk to anyone about this, you don't have to. I just think that's best."
   "Okay, then how do you recommend I go about this? I obviously want to talk to someone about it because I'm coming to you."
    "That's different, I'm your therapist, this is your family. My recommendation is that you talk first to who you're around the most; talk it out with them and see if you can come up with something. If that works, talk to someone else."   
    "The one I'm around the most has so much on his plate already," I mumble. He sighs, getting up. I stand as well, wrapping my arms around myself.
    "Depending on how serious your situation is, which seems pretty serious since you're breaking down the moment you step good in my office, you should add another thing. If he has a problem with it, he's not shit," he tells me. He knows exactly who I'm talking about and I was meaning to be discreet; I should work on that. "Don't put someone else's mental health before your own when you're in this state."
     "Don't say that like I have something seriously wrong with me."
    "Amor, you do though," he says. Tears fill my eyes. "Anxiety and depression may not be deadly to everyone, but I fear that if you continue like this, you won't stop yourself from hurting yourself this time. The last thing I want is to get a call that you're dead. I'm helping you the best I can, and I will continue to do that; and you've been so good at trying to help yourself as well, but this is just the tip of a problem. I think you can get through it."
     "Thank you," I say, wiping my tears away. He hands me a tissue.
     "Now stop crying, I don't like seeing you cry," he says. "I mean, I don't like seeing anyone cry." His eyes widen as he turns around to grab his notes. "I do hope you take my advise and talk to the annoying boyfriend."
    "I'll try. Thank you, Dr.Luz."
    •••••••
    
     "How'd it go?" Adriel asks as soon as I get in the car. I look down at my hands, shrugging. I don't want to throw another thing on him, but I remember what Dr.Luz told me. I'm not looking for anyone to fix the problem for me, that's not possible, just some help. "You're acting different."
    "I don't want to act like I'm okay when I'm not," I say. He glances over at me, brows pinched. "I've been trying to be happy when I'm around you and I can't do it anymore. It's not healthy for me."
    "I never told you that you have to act like you're okay," he says.
    "I know that, but I thought it would be better to do. As soon as I got in the office today I broke down; I couldn't hold it all in anymore. I didn't want to tell you this because I know you have a lot going on right now, this is the last thing you need to think about, but-"
    "You don't have to worry about making me worry about another thing," he says. "I'm used to juggling a lot."
    "I didn't want to be adding to it."
    "If you're breaking down the minute you're around someone you're comfortable with, you need to add to it," he says, sounding mad. I stop talking, looking out the window. We pull up in front of a large brick house with two cars in the drive way, the garage door wide open. "This isn't something you should keep to yo-"
    "Can you stop talking to me like that?" I snap, getting out of the car. He gets out as well, fixing his jacket.
    "Talking to you like what? We're just talking," he says. I shake my head, blinking away tears. I'm exhausted from all the crying today.
     "I'm talking, you're scolding and this isn't something I should be scolded for. You're making me feel like shit for telling you how I feel," I say, trying to open up to him. "Talking to me like I've done something wro-"
     "You did do something wrong," he says, his jaw clenching. "You didn't tell me about this; you did this to yourself this time." 
    "I do all of this to myself anyways," I say. "I'm sorry, but I can't help that; I'm trying to, but it's hard." I turn around, starting to walk away.
     "Where are you going?" He calls.
     "I'll call my dad for a ride home," I say, turning around. "Meeting your mom isn't the best for me right now. I'm doing this for myself; happy?"
     •••••••
         
       "What are you still doing here?" Dr.Luz asks as he walks out of the pain office doors outside. I look up at him, taking shaky breath.
     "I did leave, but walked back. I took your advise and it didn't turn out good," I tell him. "I just got here, I'm gonna call my dad for a ride. I got tired of walking." He takes his keys out of his pocket.
     "I can drive you," he says, walking again. I get up, figuring this is better than having to explain the situation to my dad if he picks me up. I know he would understand my side, but not Adriel's. We get in, buckling ourselves. "Address?"
     I give it to him, sitting awkwardly in the seat. "I'm starting to think your annoying boyfriend could use some therapy to." I scoff, nodding.
    "It's not his fault; I shouldn't of threw it on him like that," I say. He looks over at me for a second.
    "No," he says. "Did he snap at you or something?"
     "At first no, then yes. He just sounded mad and I tried talking to him about it still, but it was like it was making it worse. Then he snapped," I tell him. His grip on the steering wheel tightens.
    "Then it's not your fault at all; he just needs to be a man," he says. "You did what was right, you let him in at your own pace, he needs to respect that. If he can't do that, then he doesn't deserve you. If you waited a months until you told him that should be okay to; he needs to realize that this is his fuck up."  
     "Maybe you should switch to relationship counseling," I say, trying to crack a joke.
     "I tried that. It ended with me actually ending a marriage in accident," he says. I chuckle, looking out the window. "Emotional counseling is where I best at."
    "Then maybe you should stop keeping that pocket knife in your desk. I could just reach over one day and...boom," I say. He shakes his head, chuckling.
     "You're too much."
     "So I've been told."
 
   AN: I realllyyy like this chapter! That's all I have to say. I hope you guys enjoyed!
     Question: What to you think if Dr.Luz? What do you think will happen? Are you on Adriel or Amor's side?
     Please check out my other stories, comment, vote, and share! Believe in yourself -Vaeh
     Enjoy (I actually found a picture with both "Ever" and "Dr.Luz" on Chris Perceval's instagram😍😍)

     And just to show some love 🤤