Lost After Midnight

•Everything Was Worth It•

{•Unedited•}
~Amor's POV~

"I miss dad," Mac tells me as I fix her shirt, squaring down in front of her. It's the last day of school for her and I would have thought she would be excited, but of course she's not cause Adriel isn't here. He hasn't been for past two weeks, leaving me to explain things to her the best I can and me confused as to where he is. We might not be on the best of terms, but I still have my concerns.
"So do I," I tell her. I'm mad at myself for that being the truth. I've spent the last few years of my life with him as my boyfriend, husband, and father of my child. It might be normal to feel this twinge of emptiness with him gone despite our situation. I wish I could say I just hate him, but I hate who he's been, not who he truly is.
"D-do you think he'll be home for dinner?" She asks, sounding sad and hopeful at the same time. I sigh, not wanting to see this look on her face anymore.
"I'll call him while you're at school and see if he can make time."
••••••

"I'm fine," Santi tells me, sitting down on the rock. His body is covered in bruises and cuts, his face just starting to heal. Thins have been weird and hectic since everything happened. I've been broken but put back together in a different ways. A large piece I lost is back but another disappeared again.
"You don't look fine," I tell him. He rolls his eyes, trying to look comfortable. "Lay on the sand," I say, getting down and doing just that. He stalls for a second before forcing himself down with a loud wince. I hate seeing him like this, but have grown used to it. Clearly, it's never been this bad but due to recent events he can hardly walk without wanting to cry.
"How's my niece?" He asks, patting my stomach jokingly. I shake my head, looking up at the sky.
"No one knows if it's a girl or a boy yet, so it's not a niece," I tell him. "But she's doing good, just very complicated." I take in a sharp breath, looking over at my little brother. I still find it funny how he's younger, but acts like an older brother would. "The doctor I was seeing got arrested for faking pregnancy results for one of his patients and it came out that he had done it before too."
"So what? You're seeing a different doctor now?" I nod.
"Yeah, But this Doctor doesn't bullshit and knows what he's doing, so he found out that how far along I am is wrong." Santi shoots up from laying down, sanding falling from him.
"So whose baby is it?" He asks. I never thought I would be asked that question.
"It's still Luz's," I tell him. He nods, laying back down. He was obviously expecting it to be Adriel's and when I heard that how far along I was was wrong I thought the same thing. "I haven't told him."
    "You're such a dumbass," he laughs. "You can't keep it from him." The hard part of this whole situation is that I know that. I've stopped going to my therapy sessions to avoid seeing him and if I accidentally see him somehow I leave or make sure I can't be seen. I don't know what to expect. He won't be happy, but I don't think he'll be pissed either.
       "I will eventually," I tell him. "What about you though? You're about to be a dad. That's awesome." His face falls. It's obvious he's not excited about this. He's always said he never wanted kids and when he started to get with the gang even I hoped he would never have any. Poor Ida must feel bad even though it's not her fault.
     "I want to be happy about it," he says. "But I can't; instead, I feel like shit. There's no way I'm going to make a good dad. I'm in a gang, Amor, that's not a safe life to bring a kid into. I just got shot, almost died, what if that happened again and I have a kid? Or worse, what if my kid gets involved in this?"
     My heart aches for him, but more so Ida. Knowing him, he's probably distanced himself from her since hearing the news. Ever since he was a young child, if he did something wrong he would distance himself. My mom hated it and would always bug him until he talked things out with her. Sometimes I would get him to talk, but he would literally leave the house if the problem was involving our dad.
     "You have to have faith in yourself and your relationship with Ida. If you two really love each other, you can find a way to make this work. And if you do the right thing, you'll try your best. Whatever that child ends up being like, that's hardly a reflection of you. I was raised by dad and I've never made my own illegal cemetery full of people I've killed."
   "But I have-"
   "That's not the point. The point is that if you  try, that's enough. That's all a parent can do for their child." He sighs, looking up at the sky. Neither of us are wearing sunscreen, so I'll burn like a tomato and he'll tan...asshole.
     "We'll see."
   ••••••
         
        I sit awkwardly in front of Luz in his office,  either of us saying a word. It's been awkward staring for the last five minutes. After talking to Santi, I decided that if I don't talk to Luz now I never will. My heart is beating loud and fast in my chest. At least if I go into a panic attack I'm at the right place for it to happen.
    "So are we just gonna awkwardly stare at each other or...?" He asks, finally breaking the silence. I release a deep breath, swallowing down my nerves.
    "A few weeks ago I started feeling sick and tired. I thought it was just because of everything going on, but when I went to the doctor they did an ultrasound, and it turns out that I'm pregnant," I tell him. As I talk he hangs on to my every word, which is something I'm not used to.
    "Have you told Adriel?" He asks. I nod nervously. Does he understand why I'm telling him this? I wonder if he knows that I'm trying to tell him I'm pregnant with his baby.
    "Yeah and that didn't go down well at all," I answer. "I haven't seen him in two weeks and I think I've been better off because of that. But...h-he's not the father...you are."
    His expressions falls blank. Releasing a deep breath, it feels like a weight has been lifted from telling him. At least he isn't immediately upset with me, which is what I've grown used to with every little thing I usually do.
    "That's why you've been avoiding me?" He asks, looking genuinely confused. I nod, looking down at my hands. "You could have came in when you found out and talked to me about it. I think we both know that speaking with your abusive husband shouldn't of been your first step."
     I don't know what I was really expecting, but this wasn't it. He's calm, isn't mad or storming off. Horribly, I was waiting for the type of reaction Adriel would give me and got the total opposite.
    "I was scared," I admit. "I'm married to someone I'm...someone I'm scared of. And I don't deserve to have your child because you're...you. I've been terrible to you, dragging you along all these years. I had no idea how you would react," I tell him, my voice cracking. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I'm letting everything out or the pregnancy hormones getting to me.
     "You seriously don't understand how in love with you I am, huh?" He asks. I squeeze my eyes shut. "There's no way I could be mad or even the slightest bit upset about this. I'd be lying if I said I never thought of us having a family together. I'm so happy right now, but also worried because of the way Adriel is towards you."
      "Like I said, he hasn't been around and I'm okay with that. I've felt better since he's gone away. The next time I see him, I have the divorce papers ready and already signed by me." 
    "Then what?"
    "Then whatever we want to do."
   •••••
           ~Nine months later~
   
          I wake feeling nauseous and dizzy. Hardly sleeping for 48 hours has definitely caught up to me, especially after actually getting birth. The epidural didn't work hardly at all for me, making me feel every contraction that hit. It made me feel sick and extremely sore; just made me feel worse.
     Soft whispers are the only sound in the room. Looking over towards the window, Luz sits on the small couch with Night in his arms. He looks exhausted, but still manages a smile. A smile forms on my tired face, admiring our small baby boy and him.
    "Have you gotten any sleep?" I ask, letting him know I'm awake. He looks up, eyes hardly open and pink.
   "I got about two hours in before he woke up," he tells me, standing up carefully. The stressed look on his face as he walks over makes me laugh, causing me to wince loudly from the pain. "Are you okay?"
   "Just very sore. Can I hold him?" He places Night in my arms, giving me time to adjust before doing do. As of now, his eyes look dark, but neither Luz or I have dark eyes, so I doubt they'll stay that way. He feels tiny even in my small arms.
    "Your brother and Don came by to see you, but left when they seen you were asleep. Don trues taking our child," he says. I try not to laugh to save myself the pain. My eyes lock with his. "I love you," he tells me.
    "I love you too." He leans down and presses his lips to mine for a minute then very gently kisses the top of Night's head.
      My eyes water, my mind starting to wander. Most of my life I was never happy with myself, always felt like I was a failure, and made the wrong choices. But I now see that I wouldn't change all the pain and mistakes if it shaped me into who I am right now and put me in my position. If I hadn't had my mentor issues, as bad as they were, I wouldn't of met Luz. If I hadn't of been with Adriel we wouldn't of gotten closer. Everything was worth it.

   AN: Okay so to clarify, this is hardly a "bonus" chapter and more so the official ending. Having her with Adriel just didn't feel right. If you would like to know what happened in between the time of the "last chapter" and this one, read Cold Hearted! It fills in the gaps. Btw, "Night" isn't a typo, that's his actual name. I like weird names and ones that you never see in stories, so yeah (you're probably used to this with me already though 😂). Anyways, I really hope you guys enjoyed this OFFICAL ending!
     Question: Do you like this ending better or the other one? Wha did you you think of this ending?
    Please check out my other stories, comment, vote, and share! Believe in yourself -Vaeh
    PS: Just a small addition to add to the visual of this ending 😊