Hurricane's Oneshots (REQUESTS OPEN!!)

Existential crisis

I stood there, waiting. I hate waiting, the still, the silence, the lack of anything. I hate it all. Yet waiting is all that is left. Nothing is there, nothing is here, just waiting. The worst part is I
don't know what I am waiting for, a bird, another person, a life, who knows. But I am waiting.

I need to stop sitting, I’ve been sitting for so long. I’m not exactly sure how long, time has no meaning here. But I have been sitting. I stand, blood rushes to my head and my world wants to turn black, I stumble back and lean against the wall for support, it is my support. People tend to think that if you’re alone you talk to yourself, but that isn’t always true, sometimes when you’re alone you don't ever speak at all, you have no reason to.

Thinking is easier, quieter, thinking is waiting. I hate both, yet I hate talking more. So I think and I wait. Somedays the silence gets to much, not even then do I make noise, yet I still scream and cry and bang my head against the wall in silent defiance against the silence. I am no longer sure if I exist. Everything feels funny, I am floating, even the silence is muffled, I can
almost hear the muffled particles in the air move.

I hear my heart, bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum, it pounds in my ears and up my throat, I can almost choke on it. I feel my fingers numb, I feel nothing at all. I breath, and no sound, I exhale, no sound, I cry and scream, no sound. I punch the wall, nothing, I trip and fall, nothing, I fall off my high horse, nothing. What even is my high horse? What makes me high and mighty, is it the way my heart is in my throat or the dreadful waiting of life. I doubt either of those are so, yet I cannot help wondering what my high horse is, what can I boast about. Can I even boast? Would society accept it? You boast about looks and you are vain and stupid, you boast about smarts and you are a nerd, you boast about friends and you are fake. Does that make boasting bad?

Boasting is simply telling others what you are good at, we have a right to be proud of those things, proud of what we can do. Yet it is seen as greedy and selfish to do so. I wish it wasn’t. Having pride is good in moderation. Same with greed or envy or lust. That another odd thing, lust, of course everyone pictures lust for flesh, but it is just a strong desire for something, everyone has a strong desire for something. Candy, Friendship, An
Ability, Power, Money… Lust is similar to greed. The main difference is greed is selfish, lust doesn’t need to be. You could be lustful to help others, which isn’t selfish at all. What if someone was sick and lusts to be healthy again. Would we hate them then? Why are the ‘Seven deadly sins' so deadly.

Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath and Sloth...What makes them bad? Pride means you accomplished something, Greed means you have a goal in life, Lust just means you want something, Envy is just wanting something that is better for you that others have, Gluttony means you plan to be in life for a fun time, not a long time, Wrath means you are passionate enough about something to get angry and scream and yell, Sloth means you don’t want to work being a sloth is just depression and shouldn’t we help those people? Why do we as humans condemn other humans to a fate we do not wish for ourselves.

We could simply accept that others are different and accept that others will live their lives while we live ours, at that point would there be peace or anarchy? Would society progress or fall completely?

I hear a name, I hear my name, I stand and walk onto the stage, no more waiting for now, only action. I will do the small things to make others listen, I will scream aloud now, and punch walls and feel it. For now I am not waiting, for now I am beginning, and I hope this work carries beyond what I do.