Complex Charm

Chapter 12

It's been a week since Charmaine's breakdown. Now here she is, awaiting her first therapy session. It took so much energy for her to go, but she was given a choice to do it voluntarily or by force. Charmaine knew she needed it, so she saved Donovan that phone call to the authorities and made an appointment. She had to take a leave of absence (thank God for her employer's strong belief that mental health is just as important as physical health) and thankfully her clients were having a month where not much was going on.
"Perfect timing," Donovan said. "That's a sign you can chill and take care of yourself." Charmaine wasn't one to sit still, not since she has been on the move for the last 15 years. Independence isn't something to let go of easily, even when it's only temporary. She was scared. "What will happen to everything I've worked for? I still have bills, Donovan." 
"Don't worry about it. That's why you have me and your family. I told your parents what was going on, and we all agree that you just need to take a moment to get yourself back together. Mentally, emotionally, everything." Charmaine felt like a charity case, even though she knew Donovan meant well. She was just used to being the one to take care of people, not the other way around. But when she thinks about all that she and Donovan have gone through, she pauses and sighs. Plus, she still has a secret and she's still not sure if it's the right time to let it out. She'll ask her therapist. That is if she's the perfect match. Charmaine didn't really care about the ethnicity of her therapist, but she knew that a sister would be more relatable. However, she didn't want to feel any drawbacks or suggestions rooted in how they were raised in the black community. She wanted solutions and was hoping Dr. Ryan would be able to provide them. And hopefully, she'll be done with this in a month. Boy, was she in for a surprise.

"Ms. Hawthorne?" The receptionist called out and Charmaine was startled. While she knew that her time would come, she was still debating on if she should walk out of the door. But she promised- not just her friend and family, but she also promised herself to get over this obstacle. "Yes", Charmaine stood and straightened her t-shirt dress before walking towards the receptionist. "That's me." 
"Welcome, Ms. Hawthorne. So glad to have you here. I know you said this is your first time coming to a session, but don't worry. You will feel at home here." 
To Charmaine's surprise, she didn't get what she expected as far as a therapist office. She thought it would be hospital-like, but if one mistakenly walked into this lobby they would think they were checking in for a spa day. Chairs were plush and the room was fragrant from what seemed to be a diffuser. In the middle were a waterfall and a few fish in the manmade pond. Then to the back, they offer you a choice of cucumber and strawberry water or chai tea. Whichever fits your fancy and makes you feel better. Charmaine never cared for chai, but she didn't want the water either. She asked if there were other options to choose from, and the receptionist nodded before handing her a "menu". There was coffee, but they didn't recommend it- why put more uneasiness on nerves that are already fragile? She asked if she could have some ginger tea with honey, and the receptionist smiled before placing her into her room to await Dr. Ryan. 
"She's running a little behind, but she should be here within ten minutes. I'll grab your tea before your session starts. Just sit here and relax. Take a look at the moving shape on the wall and take a few deep breaths as it moves. It will act as guided meditation, so you'll be calm soon." 
Charmaine smiled back and said thank you, but her mind was going a million miles a minute. 
She's running late? Oh my God, I have to see someone NOW! If she's not here in ten, I'm out of here. 
Her left foot started to tap rapidly, and she glanced at the moving shapes before her. Beside the big triangle is a countdown to breathe in 8 and hold for 2, so she goes for it.