Arsonist's Lullaby

Chapter 26 - Jesse

I hate her. I hated Sam with all my guts.

I tried to convince myself, lost in my head as I walked the streets aimlessly. I stopped when I realized what I was saying.

I can't hate Sam. I couldn't even if I wanted to.

But I was still mad at her. I knew I wasn't being fair and that it wasn't really her fault but I had to be mad at someone. Sighing, I sat down at a random cafe and ordered a cup of coffee using the little french I knew. I brought the cup to my face, smiling a little at the thought of how happy my mom would be to see me here if she were alive.

My smile quickly disappeared at the thought of my mother and how Sam resembled her in so many ways. I already lost my mom now I was going to lose Sam too. I couldn't bring myself to finish my drink and put it aside before bringing my hands to my face.

A man who looked like Fidel Castro lighting a cigarette and holding his coffee the other caught my eye as he offered me a stick. I didn't smoke.

I tried it once and hated it, the taste took forever to get out of my mouth, but at the moment I was willing to do anything to get my mind off of her and thankfully took it.

"She is beautiful I am guessing. The girl you are in love with?" He smiled handing me a lighter. I stared at him in surprise and he softly chuckled, his gravelly voice actually calming.

"Take my advice. Tell her. If she loves you back, that's wonderful. If not, leave and don't ever look back." He shrugged.

"It's more complicated than that." I sighed rubbing my eye.

"Love is never complicated. People make it seem like it is." He said as if it were common sense. Seeing the look on my face, he added

"Love is just love. You either feel it or you don't."

"She's engaged, well supposedly." I shook my head kind of confused myself. Was she still engaged? Technically yes but...

"Do you love her?"

"With everything I have." I scoffed. I was annoyed with myself for not even hesitating.

"Then it's not complicated. If she loves you, she will leave the other man. If she chooses him and not you, well..." He looked at me over his glasses. "She never truly loved you then did she?"

I never really thought about the way Sam felt about me. I knew we had something. something special, intimate. It was more than friendship, but was it enough to leave him and her family for?

She did it once...

"There are more than 7 billion people on this earth. You will find someone else if this doesn't work out." The man said.

"That's just it. There is no one else I want but her." I put the cigarette down, not even taking a single drag.

"This is Paris my friend. There is always someone else." He smiled knowingly, the wrinkles by his eyes bunching together as he took a drag, making the cherry at the end of his cigarette burn bright red. I shook my head and watched the smoke drift around then away from my fingers.

"Not for me. I could go all around the world and still wouldn't want anyone else but her." I dropped the cigarette, crunching it with the heel of my boot.

"Well then you better put up a good fight and give the other man a run for his money." He patted my shoulder, tucking his newspaper under his arm before standing up to leave.

"He's already swimming in it." I grumbled to myself.

I watched him disappear into the crowd and ran my hand through my hair thinking about what he said, getting up myself and leaving my now cold coffee at the table along with some cash.