Arsonist's Lullaby

Chapter 9 - Jesse

Later that night I went to bed with a brand new bottle of Bells Scotch, hoping the whiskey would numb me to sleep but knowing deep down that I wouldn't be able to sleep at all. I grudgingly swirled the amber liquid around thinking of how much it looked like Sam's eyes.

I was having nightmares again. Usually I could wake myself up after learning how to in therapy when I was still a kid but I could tell this one was different this time. I couldn't move, as if I was paralysed and fell asleep. All of a sudden I was eight years old again.

My Dad had just gotten home. My mother was taking a shower and I was sitting on the steps playing with my toy cars when I heard the door slam. Not wanting to see him, I quickly gathered my cars and ran up the stairs.

"Jesse!" I heard him bellow. I froze on the last step. I was so close.

"Where's your mother?" He asked.

"Mama's taking a shower." I mumbled.

"Speak up boy!" He shouted.

"Mama's taking a shower." I said a little louder.

"Didn't I tell you not to call her that? Your old enough to call us by our real name." He snarled at me.

"Yes sir." I said quietly. He started shuffling around, untying his tie.

"Damn women, she knew that I was coming home early, where's my dinner?" He shouted, annoyed.

I started breathing quicker and couldn't swallow.

"I....I don't know." I told him.

He glared at me and started stomping up the stairs. I started to shake in fear but refused to cry. He would only beat me harder if I cried.

He got to the top of the stairs and towered above me. I chomped down on my teeth, trying to stop myself from crying and blinked, several times. He growled before walking past me and into my parents room slamming the door shut.

I let out a sigh of relief and closed my eyes, taking shaky but deep breaths to calm myself down. Right when I was calm enough to move, I quickly shuffled to my room and started to gently close the door when I heard screaming.

"You good for nothing woman!" My father yelled and I heard the bathroom door slam. My mother started screaming as my father kept yelling at her.

I held my breath as their door banged open and slightly closed my door so I could see through the crack.

He was dragging my mom by her hair as she stumbled out, dripping wet from her shower, barely covered by the towel she quickly tried to wrap around herself with.

"You bitch, you knew I was coming home early! Is it that hard? Huh? Is being a God damn decent house wife that hard!" He bellowed as he dragged her out of their bedroom by her hair. My mother was grabbing his wrist trying to loosen his grip on her hair and sobbing.

"I'm sorry! I forgot Charles, I'm sorry I forgot!" She cried.

My father threw her against the wall but she slipped on the dripping wet floor and collapsed in a heap at my fathers feet.

"Mama!" I said in a panic and rushed towards her.

"All I ask is for you to cook my food, keep the house clean and to be a faithful wife but everything is just too damn hard for you isn't it? All you do is whore around with other men and waste all my hard earned money on yourself and that damn kid!" He shouted and kicked her away before he grabbed my arm.