The Moon's Shadow

☾ Chapter Twenty-one

I dug my hands into the cold dirt, slowly shaping a small hole to plant some Yarrow seeds in Millicent's garden.

I knew not everyone would live through the fight that we were planning. That thought weighed heavily on me. I wanted us to be ready, the healer in me needed to know we had enough supply to treat people that would inevitably be injured.

I picked up the few Yarrow seeds I had left pushing them into the dirt, slowly pouring water over the small seeds.

I sighed; my mind wouldn't stop thinking about what would happen to people, to families when someone never returned. I clenched my chest over my heart.

What if Jett was injured during the fight? The thought made my eyes watery.

"Is everything okay, dear?" Millicent called my way, noticing my sudden quietness.

I quickly wiped away the tears in my eyes and smiled at her, "Yeah, everything is okay."

She nodded, turning back to the Mullein plant she was previously tending.

"Millicent, have you ever had anyone you love die?" I suddenly asked, I couldn't seem to get the thought of death out of my mind.

She turned around, her face softening at my question.

"To be a healer is to experience death, my dear. Many people I have deeply cared about have died."

"How do you handle it?" I asked in a small voice. The thought of any of my friends dying... never being able to see their face, hear their voice, I held my breath, the thought made my lungs feel like they were closing.

She gave me a small smile, "You never really do, I'm afraid. You make room in your heart for all the people you love once they pass. Treasuring their memory as you continue to go through life. Some days it will be hard, you'll miss them so much you won't be able to do anything. Then one day it gets easier, you'll be able to think of them without feeling a sense of sadness. You'll be able to enjoy the memories you made with them."

She reached over to me and gave me a tight squeeze.

"You have so much room in that big heart. I hope it never fills with those memories. But if it ever does, know they would want you to continue being happy, for them."

I nodded, wiping my eyes that brimmed with tears.

"Shhhh my dear, things will be okay," she cooed, wiping the tear away.

I gave her a small nod in her embrace, a pit forming in the bottom of my stomach despite her comforting words.

She let go of me, patting my cheek softly.

"Come on, let's have some tea," she said, as we slowly walked back into the cottage.

Millicent brought me a small cup of Chamomile tea.

"Here, this will help calm your mind a bit."

"Thank you," I mumbled, blowing on the hot liquid, slowly bringing it to my mouth.

I took a few sips and let the warmth spread throughout my body, making me curl my toes.

"Much better," I smiled at her. I loved my time with Millicent, she was so caring and wise to everyone.

We had started to work again when the door suddenly bursts open, a very solemn Octavia and Jett came through the door.

Jett gave a quick look at Millicent and nodded. She instantly had a dark expression on her face.

I looked back at Octavia, searching her face for any answers, but it revealed nothing.

"What's wrong?" I asked, confusion evident in my voice.