We met at school. Got close. Went to the fair and kissed on the Ferris wheel. I had liked you before and hadn't stopped. I see you every school day. I see you when I close my eyes. But for some reason. You don't see me back.
You said u liked me when I texted you over spring break from my best friends phone. Then you got in trouble because your an idiot when I told you to stop ruining your body. You didn't listen. I was so sad.
When school started that Tuesday morning all I wanted to do was hug you. When I did, something was off. You didn't hug me like u used to. When I kissed you on the cheek that same day after 5th, you didn't smile. You kept a straight face and slightly hugged me.
Yesterday I saw you with a girl. She looks smart, and sweet. I saw you guys getting closer. Her laughing at something you said, while I was remembering that feeling.
I saw it again today. I didn't hug u in the morning. I didn't hug you at lunch. I saw you walk her to her class and hug her like you USED to hug me. The tear in my heart that you started fixing, kept tearing. I kept a smile on my face so my friends wouldn't notice.
I walked into class with you right behind me. You said hi, I just gave a small wave. To anyone else they wouldn't notice if something was wrong. You did. You always did. I ignored you until the end of class because I didn't want to cry. I said goodbye with a weak smile and a slight hug. Usually we go the same way on day one but u stopped. I asked if you were coming. You said you were waiting for someone. I knew who. I said ok and left.
My heart tore and tore and tore. It was finally confirmed when you said "I did like you a lot but over spring break I thought about a lot of shit and I still want to be close friends. You're the one person I don't want to lose...."
I was at home when you texted me that. I broke down. I couldn't do it anymore. I wish I could take all those memories of us kissing and hugging, put them in the garbage disposal to never be seen again.
I mean for cakes sake. I'm crying 2 days before my birthday. I'm not meant to date. I'm not sure if my heart can be stitched together again. I'm sorry I wasn't worth it. I'm not perfect nor will I ever be. But at least I tried to be worth it.
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Wow. I was going through it. This guy confused me sm but oh well.
YOU ARE READING
My world and thoughts
HumorIf you are reading this, I sometimes just need to write down my feelings and get away from everything. I was going through this "book" when I realized that everything that happened to me was for a reason. I laugh at my feelings for what was going on...
