Hope

Chapter Thirty Four

Am I dead? I feel like I'm drowning, only it isn't uncomfortable. I remember when I breathed in water when I was ten. It had felt like someone had set my lungs on fire and someone had scraped my throat with sandpaper. Right now I feel like I'm sinking into deep waters.

Am I dead? I can feel my body but I can't use it. I can't open my eyes to see where I am, I can't open my mouth and scream, I can't move my limbs. I'm not crippled but I'm not in control of my body.

The drowning sensation disappears and I feel sand on my naked back. I find that I can use my body now, but I'm afraid to move. I slowly open my eyes to a very light blue sky- almost translucent. Like the tilt of the Element swords. I sit up. I am sitting on soft sand completely naked.

I stand up and expect to wobble or feel nauseous but I don't. I turn around to see a silver silk blanket on the dark green grass- the blanket that was wrapped around me in my mother's painting of me. I snatch it quickly and wrap it around myself. I walk up, looking around.

I'm on a field with a few trees and grass that disappears as the ground tilts down in a slope. I walk further and I spot a woman with long black hair that tickles the grass as she sits down,

I gasp. “Mom?” I call as I run to her. She turns around and smiles a dazzling smile. Her green eyes sparkle as I reach her. I look down at her, unsure of what to do. I want to touch her but I'm afraid.

She pats the spot next to her. “Sit,” she sings.

I sit next to her, raising my arm as if to touch her. Still afraid, my arm hangs awkwardly next to her hair. She laughs and the harmonious sound fills my ears and brings tears to my eyes.

“Mom?” I whisper, still skeptic. Is this really her? She looks so beautiful. I can see a little bit of myself in her but there's no way I can master her beauty.

“Yes, love?” Her voice is soft- velvety. She grins.

“Can I touch you?” I ask, raising my arm again.

She frowns slightly. “Unfortunately not. See the river here?” She nods in front of her. There's a thin river flowing a few feet away from us. I nod. “Yes, well, that's the boarder between here and there. I am not really here. You haven't crossed over.”

I frown. “So I am not dead?”

“Not really. You're a strong girl.” Her grin returns. I missed her so much that my heart feels like it might burst from the joy of seeing her, talking to her. I take a good look at her. She's really here- well not really but I can see her. I don't know if I've made her proud. I tried fighting but her presence announces my loss. I wish I was a fighter- like her and dad. I shake my thoughts to rid myself of the negative thoughts. For some reason this doesn't seem like the appropriate time or place to pity myself.

“If I was strong I wouldn't be here,” I say.

“Oh, Kathryn. If you were weak you wouldn't be here.” She points at the river. “You would be there.”

I look down at my hands fiddling with the soft blanket.

“I'm sure you have many questions,” she says. I look up at her and nod. I have tons of questions- I don't even think there's enough time for all of them. Does time even exist here?

I ask the question that has been eating up my insides. “How did I get the power I have- well had? There's no royal blood in your family or dad's. Did you extract it from someone else?” My mind fills up with the packet filled with my powers and I shudder.

She places her finger on her chin. “That is rather interesting question, isn't it? You see, Kathryn, my mother- your grandmother- was a very power-hungry woman. She extracted the power from another Prasian and hoped that I would posses the power. But unfortunately she was too late- I was too old and my powers couldn't be altered in any way. Still, she tried. The power remained in my system and came alive through you.”

It feels as though a weight has just been lifted off my chest and I sigh in relief. My parents aren't like Anne and Victor or Sophia. I was stupid to even think that. And image of me rubbing this off on Rioleo's face plays at the back of mind and I almost giggle.

But this is the first question. There could be worse answers.

“Why did you run away? Why didn't you let me grow up in Prasinis?” I ask.

“I thought that was obvious. To protect you.”

“From what, though? I mean, you made Prasinis a safer place. Why couldn't I grow up there?” My tone isn't harsh, just curious.

She sighs. “From people like Sophia. Forgive us, Kathryn, we didn't know she would turn out as she did. Prasinis is never safe from people with the same motive. It seems we did more harm than good.” Her expression turns sad and my hands ache to comfort her. Bloody boarder.

“Why does Magnolia hate me?” I sound so childish I almost slap myself.

She looks at me, her eyes widening in shock. “Goodness! Magnolia doesn't hate you! She cares for you. She might not show it but she does. Oh, child, Magnolia couldn't hate you.”

I scrunch up my nose. “How can you be so sure?”

She chuckles. “I knew her for more than twenty years.” She reaches out her hand as if to touch me but lets it drop with a frown. It's painful being able to see her, hear her and talk to her but not being able to touch her and feel her. I long to bury my face in her shoulders and sob while she hums me a calming tune.

We sit in silence for a while until I hear a distant voice calling out a name. Again it sounds like I'm under water and it's on land.

My mother grins. “Interesting.”

I listen intently until, with a start, I realize the owner of the voice- Nick. And he's calling out my name.

“Well, I guess you better go,” she says. What? Go? Now? But I still have so many questions!

“Wait, what? I haven't asked you about dad, or Jeff! Where are they? Are they okay? Tell Jeff I am-”

Her laughter silences me- partly because I am confused, partly because who wouldn't stop and listen to her laugh? “Calm down, child. They are fine.” She looks at me with a finger on her smiling red lips. Nick's voice gains volume and I can here it clearly now- he's sobbing.

I flush slightly. “I guess I can't tell you about my boy problems now, can't I?”

Her smile doesn't flutter. “I think your heart already knows what, or rather who, it wants and nobody can tell it otherwise.”

Nick's sobs get even louder. “Now go, before the poor boy gets a heart attack and you won't be the only visitor here.”

I chuckle. “Okay... But how?” We stand up.

“Goodbye, my child. Just remember that we're always with you- all of us.”

Her grin is the last thing I see before I'm swallowed by blinding light.