If life is a movie, you are the best part || Jeff Wittek

I love myself I don't need anybody else|| part 25

Suggested song: Love myself by Hailee Steinfeld

The pain is still there, threatening to haunt me down anytime I fail at finding a good distraction.

I finished watching two new TV series in the attempt to avoid sleeping at night and dreaming that blonde hair of his.

My room is always tidy as I cannot stay still.

Google says that chaos shouldn't be part of my life right now.

Planning helps. Hour by hour I have something to do.

I have hang out with the group a few times, always making sure that he wouldn't be there.

They all helped me. No one mentions him directly and they have kind of influenced me too.

I already knew it, but I confirmed that Liza is the sweetest human being on the whole universe.

She has been regularly checking on me and there is no way to spend some time with her without laughing.

Heath told me yesterday that David has made many jokes in his latest vlogs about my break up.

At least he got some good content for his videos out of this story.

I can never know if those 4:20 minutes are going to be M-proof therefore I've been avoiding his channel.

Some comments online ask why we broke up and some others speculate on the reasons.

Nobody ever gets it right.

It sucks a little that this has become such a public matter.

Matt and the YouTuber, whose name I still don't know and I am not particularly interested in, are together.

That's what Camila told me this morning over a bowl of cereal.

Everything seems to be turning out great in his life and I'm happy that he gets to already be in a happy relationship with someone new.

That's what I'm being forced by my self defensive self to think like.

But we all know the harsh truth...I hate it.

I hate that I'm constantly thinking about him even though our time is up.

I would prefer to be more like "whatever".

I would stay friends with Matt and I wouldn't be waiting for him to come back to me every day, begging me to forgive him.

These days I have also been dedicating much more time to my studies.

What I do for myself is something that no one will make me regret.

I have never had that much confidence in my body and personality but I know that the time has come to prove how much I'm worth.

All this to say that I signed up for a soul cycle class and I'm loving it.

There are people of all ages. From 16 to literally 60 year olds.

It makes me feel better both spiritually and physically.

My new attitude is weird even to me.

I'm a little, just a tiny bit, thankful to Matt for that.

He helped me realize how much my life can get better focusing more on who I am.

This afternoon

I just came home from college and I have to get ready to attend my soul cycle class.

I decide to put on simple black matching top and leggings.