Efflorescence (2won)

19. Uncertain feelings

Something was moving. Hyungwon didn't want to open his eyes. He remembered the night, at least most of it. He wept in the toilet, he returned to others with Minhyuk, they played truth or dare... Hoseok kissed him on the cheek...

Oh god no. He had been too drunk to walk home without help, Shownu had helped him and... if he remembered correctly, he went to sleep on the couch.

Hyungwon thought for a moment but opened his eyes. He immediately regretted it. Hoseok slept next to him, legs tangled with his. Hoseok had some drool on his cheek, but he still looked handsome. He had his head against Hoseok's shoulder.

Hyungwon looked ahead and noticed Shownu sleeping on the armchair. He was clearly cold because he had wrapped his jacket around him. Hyungwon figured that the window was open.

He decided it was better to get up, so he carefully moved Hoseok's legs away and put a pillow next to him. Hyungwon walked to the kitchen and closed the window, shaking himself due to the cold air coming in. He hissed as he noticed the headache he had.

He headed for the bedroom and changed to warmer clothing. Then he went back to the kitchen, threw blankets on top of the sleeping men and prepared coffee.

Hyungwon disappeared into his own thoughts. Was it possible that Hoseok wanted to kiss him on the cheek? Had he chosen him deliberately? Hyungwon wanted it to be true, but he couldn't be sure of it.

Suddenly he heard a sound from the living room. Soon, Shownu walked into the kitchen, looking tired.

"Good morning." Hyungwon smiled. "Or should I say afternoon."

Shownu looked at the clock and sighed. "We went overboard last night." He admitted.

"Well, it was a party, right? So it was predictable." Hyungwon hummed.

"Yeah. Do you mind if I go to the toilet?"

"Go ahead."

Shownu left, literally walking like a zombie and Hyungwon was a little amused by it. However, he didn't feel any better. He had a major hangover. Hyungwon finally sat down and sighed. This was unbelievable. How did he behave like that? Why did he sleep next to Hoseok?

Shownu came back and sat down. "Should I wake him up?"

"Don't bother. Let him sleep." Hyungwon hummed. "He's definitely tired."

"Yeah ... I'm sorry." Shownu suddenly apologized.

"What for?"

Shownu scratched his neck nervously. "We stayed for the night, we made you drink too much and... Hoseok made you upset..."

"He... I wasn't..."

"You were." Shownu sighed. "You don't have to lie to me. You're like my little brother at this point, so... You can trust me, as a big brother."

"Okay, you're right." Hyungwon admitted. "I got upset, but it's not his fault. I'm just too sensitive and credulous... I thought he... l-likes m-"

A loud yawn disturbed Hyungwon and he turned to look. Hoseok woke up. Hyungwon's face was bright red. He glanced at Shownu and stood up.

"I... need some fresh air." He mumbled and ran out, flustered.

Hoseok looked after him. "What was that?"

Shownu didn't answer, he just looked away. Hoseok could see some guilt in his eyes.

"Did you say something to him? Is he upset about last night?" Hoseok almost freaked out. He stood up and walked over to the older.

"No ... he's not."

"What was it then!? Why did he look like he would cry!?" Hoseok yelled.

"It's because you hurt his feelings." Shownu answered, annoyed.

"I... h-hurt his feelings?"

"Yes. He was sad, because of you."

"I don't understand... what did I do?" Hoseok had to sit down. It felt like the world was falling apart around him. Everything was ruined. The world was ending.

"But..." Shownu started. "He's not angry to you. He blames himself."

"That's even worse..." Hoseok groaned.

Shownu nodded. "I think we should leave while he's outside."

"Why?"

"He needs some time. Let's invite him for a coffee later, okay? Now, let's go."

Hoseok looked defeated and followed Shownu out. They saw Hyungwon sitting on the stairs, which lead out of the building. He was holding his hands up to his face, like he was hiding something. Hoseok knew. He was crying.

Shownu pulled Hoseok next to him. "Let's just go." He whispered.

"Hyungwon, we'll get going now. Thank you for yesterday and sorry. See you." Shownu smiled quickly and led Hoseok away.

Hyungwon looked after them,still hiding his face. He had to admit, he was feeling sad, but not because of Hoseok. He was sad that he thought Hoseok would like him.

Why was he so stupid? He once trusted people and they betrayed him. He still wanted to trust people, even though he promised himself that he would never fall into it anymore. He let an unknown man to sleep next to him, hug him and kiss him on the cheek.

He felt so foolish. These people are going to hurt him. Why does he still care for them? Why does he want to see them? Why does he want to see him? Why... does he love him?