In Verse

25. AFTER TEN YEARS

Today, after ten years,
I am sitting here again.
Sharing the same sky with a million other eyes and souls,
I am looking at it with a sober self.
Some might be looking at it with grief,
that was once the old me, the one who cried alone in the rain.
That me, will never iterate.
A me, who had a million grudges and was full of pain.

The stars today are beautiful and suddenly she flashes through my mind.
She is my star, a star that I can touch and feel and a star that I can hold and share my tears with.
A star that gives luminescence to my entire universe.

I was drowning, getting lost in her when someone tapped on my shoulders.

"Dad, you promised me to tell your story"

I pulled him and made him sit on my lap.

I am ready to tell my story today.

"Do you see that star on your left?"
"I do"
"That is your grandfather"
"Dad? How was he like?"

And that is the question,
'how was he like?'

Peering into my past, I saw myself reminiscence over moments that were hard for me to even think about.

I still remember all those conversations where he used to threaten me for my life.
I could feel bits and pieces of my heart shattering even further but,
I smiled
now I smiled from ear to ear.
"He was a perfect father"
And that is all I know about him.

"And that star, just beside him, she is grandma right?"
"She is"
"How was she like?"

I took a glimpse of the endless memories that my ocean was holding.
Thousand of voices were fighting in my head,
millions of words wanted to come out and share my grieve.
But only three won,

"I loved her" although she never let me feel it.

"No more stars as of now dad. So, tell me what do you think of mom?"

This time I didn't soar into my tormented past, rather, I stared at the shadow standing right infront of me, smiling from her eyes.

"If not because of her, I wouldn't even be here"
"Where would you be then?"
"Just someplace, where someone might have been telling you my story this way."

He looked at me, while his innocent eyes tried to find answers through my soul. But to his dismay, my gaze was averted.
I sighed and replied,
"That's all."

The tear that I was holding was still left to fall,
but it never escaped out.

-Azmii•

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(A/N): So I wrote this poem for a common friend who had a very tough past.
He said he actually cried reading this and I think I couldn't be more proud of myself.

I hope you all can also relate to my words.

Love-
•Azmii