the grocery - bts crackfic

six

"oh my fucking shit, who's playing the shitty ass music in the morning?" namjoon groaned.

he was currently coming out from the back of the grocery back form his short one hour break. and i quote, "being the boss of you fuckers is hard enough, i need and deserve a short break. brb." end quote.

"IT'S HOSEOK!1!!1!1!1!1!1!!1" taehyung yelled out of no where.

"stop fucking HATING on this music! it's from my favorites!" hoseok screeched back with his eyebrows furrowed.

yoongi was just on the cashiers desk waiting for customers with his head propped up on his hands, and jimin, jungkook and seokjin? who knows what the fuck they're doing.

"oh really hoseok?" namjoon asked nicely walking up to hoseok who was seated on a chair somewhere.

"u-um y-yeah." hoseok stuttered. he was wondering and scared, why is namjoon suddenly sounding nice? too nice..

he was waiting for a hit from namjoon closing his eyes shut.

but nothing came.

"well, what's the name of the song and artist your so generously playing in the entire grocery in the morning?" namjoon asked with a sweet smile on his face.

hoseok visibly relaxed, "phew, i thought you were gonna hit me joon." he chuckled, "anyway, it's my favorite band BLT, and their latest album Questions!" he answered with a :D.

"aww, that's soooooooooo cool hoseok." the boss commented.

"why than—" hoseok was cut off by a loud crashing in the front of the grocery, causing everyone's heads to turn to the source of the noise.

and there they were, the mean girls.

there was seokjin in the middle, holding his pink flip phone with jungkook and jimin behind him, the three were all walking sassily.

"cute artists you like hoseok, why don't you go sHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!" jin yelled. while aiming his flip phone towards hoseok.

hoseok's eyes widened and dodged the phone incoming. namjoon ended up getting hit instead, he dramatically fell down to the ground while holding his shirt where his heart was, he dramatically gasped for air, "i-i d-didn't expect to leave so s-soon." as if taehyung could sense his brother was dying, he ran up to namjoon from the drinks aisle and shook him, "h-hyung no, w-we can still save you—" he acted as if he was sobbing. he put namjoon head on his lap and slapped him. "HYUNG NO! DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG PLEASE!" he shook namjoon repeatedly.

namjoon held taehyung's hand while shaking, "i-it's okay, see you soon b-broth—" and suddenly, namjoon fake choked, and his hand left taehyung's. and he dramatically closed his eyes.

taehyung screeched, "BITCH NO! I WILL GET TEVENGE FOR YOU BROTHER. MARK MY WORDS." he glared at everyone. and then he softly kicked namjoon and gave him a helping hand to stand, namjoon gladly took his hand and dusted his pants. "no customers saw that right?" taehyung smiled and shook his head no.

(yoongi just yawned in all of this)

hoseok paused his music and flipped jin off, completely ignoring the scene taehyung and namjoon were creating by themselves.

jin gasped offended and stomped his foot three times and he and his squad turned around and suddenly they all flipped hoseok off simultaneously.

suddenly, FOR REAL THIS TIME, the grocery door was opened and everyone quickly looked at each other, eyes screaming FUCK.

they all rushed to random parts of the department with yoongi and hoseok going to the cashiers desks and smiling at the new customers which happened to be a family of three kids and obviously their parents.

taehyung and jimin ended up getting a dustpan and broom and looking like they were both sweeping as a team,

namjoon and jin ended up going to random parts of the grocery stores acting as if they were checking the stock expiry dates and what not, and lastly jungkook just got a random pack of ultra super absorbent diapers and pretended like he was just restocking them.

it was a good day.

—

thank you to @sygynn for commenting on the last chapter, it helped sparked my shitty idea. again sorry for taking a long hiatus but now i'm trying my best to update. please do comment ideas or what you'd like to see here in the grocery on the previous chapter before this. it would make me release more updates quickly because i won't run out of ideas, your suggestions are highly appreciated. thank you i love you. xoxo, mins.