this is how i disappear

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the scream that hung at the top of my scarred lips

the sound that stirred like a blade through the darkness

like the touch of blood springing to alabaster cheeks as easily as i wished the words would spring to your sinned voice

god, the sting of every breath heavy in my conscience as tears cut down my face isn't something that love should do to you

standing at the edge of the guillotine, a ghost enslaved to your need

let me go the, see me writhe into the shadow of a life without the only one i love

watch me with a sinister smile playing in the crook of your lips as i fade into nothingness and as i fragment, bit by bit

i don't love you, i need you

with every ounce of deprecating guilt and violence i scream at the top of my already collapsed lungs, 

i love you to the point jumping brings no fear

and without you is how i disappear

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