The Way I Chose

Chance of Hope

I realize everyone is staring at me, most of them laughing from my nervous break down. I get one usually before I present things but not as bad as this one where it is extremely noticeable and embarrassing. I look up and face my teacher, his eyes are watery like he was overwhelmed from the situation. As far as I know I think I'm doing quite fine aside from things sent to me last night and the crowd laughing in my face at the moment. Why don't any teachers stop them? Stop hurting people, and stop hurting me.

I push the ground with my hands as I slowly get to my feet. My teacher nods for me to get started but I can see he is ready to get up as if he expects me to faint. I bring the courage I have in me, well, at least what is left of it. I explain my topic of my project and emphasize my points of why I chose the topic. I pull a little smile as I come to a conclusion. I don't know if I am smiling because I finally finished or because my peers are actually clapping at my presentation and even my teacher looks less worried. For the first time in a long time I actually feel proud of myself. Though my memories will never be washed away.

The rest of my day swoops by and before I know it, I'm walking out of the school ready to go home. I feel two fingers tap twice on my shoulder. I turn on my heel still looking at the ground and the boy begins to speak.

"Hey, I'm Shane Tremblay. You probably don't know who I am but you were in the same first period class as me so I am wondering what happened to you this morning?"

"Um, uh, I don't like attention. I guess I may have had a nervous breakdown?" Why are you unsure! Of course you freaked out in class!

"I don't like presenting." I continue staring at the ground but glance up slightly and I remember that I've seen him before. Shane has grey eyes, dark brown hair and a warm smile. Why does someone like him seem to care for a loser like me?

"Were you laughing at me earlier like everyone else?" That question was a little subtle but I go with it anyway.

"No, I thought you were going to die, I was wondering what happened." His expression is straight then slips to a grin.
"I may have not known who you are, and still don't. I can't believe everyone was laughing."

"Well I get used to it, they all hate me anyway." I pause pursing my lips. "I should get going." I turn around swiftly and speed walk away before he can say anything else.

Once I get inside I grab some crackers and walk up to my bedroom and read my messages. What gives people satisfaction for hurting others especially when they didn't hurt them in the first place? I don't understand this generation of teens. It shouldn't be allowed at my school or anywhere for that matter.
My message notification dings and I get a few more messages like every other day after school. The worst part is that everyone can see them, they are not just to me, but everyone! I don't know what to do!

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As I take my usual stroll down the school hallways, I get pushed this way and that into lockers, sometimes on purpose, others on accident. No one says sorry. I see a boy walk towards me, smirk and look away. A girl does the same. They are probably of the same social level; populars, or those who just throw people down to make themselves stand higher. I hear people repeat the things posted online to me, sometimes behind my back, other times to my face. It hurts, why do I have to suffer every time I try to learn. Every time I try to come to school for the right reasons. Nothing makes sense to me.

I am aware I am out-of-it during class, but I don't care right now. I am just trying to get everything off my mind. I tried sports once and I guess I wasn't bad, but we are sinful and sin brings hate into our hearts from what I've heard, and as far as I know, I can't do anything about it. The bell rings and we all herd out into the hallway like elephants, stamping our feet in rhythm as we push others aside. I scramble to my locker and quickly change my books. When I close my locker I notice a guy standing right beside me.

"Uh..uh Shane?" I stutter.

"That's me!" He grins and I smirk at his enthusiasm.

"What are you doing here?" I meant, Why are you standing in front of my locker invading my personal space!

"I wanted to ask if you are, okay." I look at him, wondering why, yet I just manage to say 'I'm fine.'

"You seem like a different person...I don't know. But I have paid attention to what people have being doing to you. They are so cruel, what could you have done to them?"

"I did nothing...I know they are cruel, and they have hurt me which should be pretty obvious." Tears form in my eyes and my voice descends. "Why do you even care?"

"Because, um...I don't know if you know who I am." He scratches the back of his neck. "I'm a Christian, and..uh...I can tell you are hurt and I want to help you." He sounds a little unsure.

"Help me by teaching me what you know? About some "God" of yours? How is that going to help me?"

"It will, please let me help you. You need a friend, don't you? Especially in a time like this."

"And you are willing to help me? You don't know me." I am about to burst into tears but I hold myself together.
"Tell me your name."
"Draya" I say, hesitantly
"I will get to know you, Draya." He emphasizes Draya. "I don't want to see someone who is getting hurt by others, to hurt themselves." He looks understandingly into my eyes, and I wipe my tears away. I am usually embarrassed to cry in front of people, but now I can't help it. I have never talked about this to anyone, so this is very different. I hope what he believes will help me.

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I begin to walk home from school and think carefully about what he said to me. 'He wants to get to know me?' I've never experienced that before. I've just been judged straight off the bat! I am kind of glad he isn't like the others...I hope. I know very little about his religion. All I know is that we are all inclined to sin, which makes sense considering how the people around me behave. I also know that his god apparently created this earth. I do believe that the earth is not 13.7 billion years old. Now that is just crazy in my mind. But that is my opinion. So, what has gotten him to want to help me? Is it his own good works? Or is his god trying to speak to me. I don't know, I am confused with the science of this world, and the theories and facts of the Christian religion.

I receive a message from Shane. He wants me to meet him in the city's main library. He wants to show me about what he believes, and what will help me. Something about believing and receiving? Having faith? I am not completely sure. I have never tried to push or pull any religion into my life, so this is a very different situation and I don't know how to react.