Where The Lotus Blooms.

Skittles

     I woke up late for school, I rushed to get dressed for school. I scarfed down my breakfast and had to get a ride to school from my mom. On my way to school I tried to make sense of my dream. Why did I keep having these dreams? What were they trying to tell me? Then the weirdest thing happened.

     "You know, our family has a history of seeing into the future via our dreams right?" my mom just spit it out like she knew something was going on.

     "What do you mean ma? Are you saying you've had the same thing happen?"

     She smirked as she nodded her head.

    " Me, your sister, and apparently you have that ability. Now, just because certain actions happen in your dreams, it doesn't correlate directly into what is going to happen. Certain pieces may happen, but it's more about translating and interpreting how it could happen in your life."

     I was speechless. The rest of the car ride I kept to myself and tried to translate my previous dreams into what it could mean in my life. We got to school and I made my way to class. I knew Hale was going to talk to me today. I felt it, there was no way she wasn't going to talk to me about what happened this weekend. My classes passed by my eyes again as my mind was elsewhere. Hale texted me in my second period class, she said we needed to talk. My heart raced as I thought of the possibilities of what she was going to say. I took a deep breath to calm myself. The questions I had would be answered soon enough.

     The bell rang and I made my way to Math class. I thought about the past year and how much I fell for her. Her smile, her laugh, the passion she held about sensitive subjects. I was a fool to think that it would ever work between us. She had her goals that far surpassed mine. I walked into class and took my seat. She had a depressed look on her face. This wasn't going to end well at all. I prepared myself for the worst, and the worst was worse then I was prepared for. 

     " Look, you were good for what I needed that night. I've had you on my mind for months now. I took advantage of the attention you gave me. I don't need you anymore, I had my angst and it was relieved that night. You are nothing to me now, you and I would never look, you live in a townhouse and I have my dreams to follow. I'm sorry but we need to go our separate ways. Good luck."

     I was in awe. Not only did she drop this bomb, it was a nuke. I panicked, my heart felt like it was going to explode. I started to hyperventilate. My chest burned and my face went cold. I expected her to do this, but not to cut ties completely and push my down the way she did. I watched as she walked away. I was alone in this forsaken school. Again. The day dragged on. I made my way back to class. My eyes glued to the ground. I focused on not making any eye contact with Hale. My mind made it's way into a newfound dark place, hello new friend I thought, together we will go places right?

     School ended and I thought of nothing. My mind was blank. I sat on my bed and thought relentlessly. My mind came to the thought of "skittles". One of my old friends had told me about them and what they did. He also mentioned what would happen if I took too many, which had now turned to my goal. I made my way to the store and purchased what I needed. I didn't want to feel this again. My mom was out of town, and my brothers were gone. No one would know until it was done with. My heart and chest was cold. I made my way home and took them a handful at a time. I put my music on and waited. 

     The walls began to melt, I saw the vibrations of the music echo through my room. I tossed and turned, trying to make the images go away. I closed my eyes and felt my body go cold. It was dark and cold. I was floating through this darkness, lost and confused. I looked down and there was a rope tied around my waist. I floated on and on frantically searching for something. All of a sudden the rope tightened and pulled me back. My body was on fire, like lava flowing through my veins. I through my covers off and stripped down. I ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I needed to cool down. The feeling slowly went away and I was wide awake. Why didn't this work? I was supposed to be gone. Irrelevant and away from this world. I came to the conclusion it wasn't time for me to go just yet. I curled up and let the cold water cover me. I needed this. This experience, the images, these events. Everything that had just happened opened my eyes to what I needed to do. I was determined to beat this chapter in life and progress to a happier being.