Love and Psychopaths 3: Consideration

Loraine: Look Joe, I love you. You're a good man and a total sweetheart. I appreciate everything you do for us in this relationship. Do you understand?

Joe: I understand.

Loraine: But something feels wrong to me. It's hard to explain it.

Joe: What feels wrong? Now I don't understand.

Loraine: It feels like something is... missing.

Joe: What's missing? We're with each other all the time. We support each other. We have sex every night. We've created a beautiful home together. We accept each other's differences. We love each other unconditionally. We're going to have a baby next year. Isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be?

Loraine: I don't know. I'm not complaining about you. I'm not saying anything you've done is bad. I appreciate you and love you to bits.

Joe: Then what's the problem?

Loraine: I worry that maybe you love me too much.

Joe: What?

Loraine: I feel like maybe you aren't getting your needs met in this relationship.

Joe: Of course I'm getting my needs met in this relationship or else I wouldn't still be with you.

Loraine: It doesn't feel like that Joe. You're always more excited to spend time with your friends.

Joe: Well, Loraine I see you every day. I don't see them every day. Everyone in my life brings me different qualities that I value in different ways. But you should know that you're the person I love most. That's why I see you every day while I only see them two or three times a week.

Loraine: I don't know, Joe. I'm confused.

Joe: Are you saying you don't feel loved by me in this relationship?

Loraine: No, not at all. I feel very loved.

Joe: Then what's the problem?

Loraine: It's hard to pin down. Something just doesn't feel right.

Joe: (getting frustrated) What is it? What doesn't feel right?

Loraine: I feel like everything we do together isn't something you actually enjoy doing. It never feels like you're having fun. It feels like you're only doing what I want because you love me.

Joe: In life, no one excites you every day. But when you love someone, that doesn't matter. You make an effort to push on. You accept the limitations in the other person. You accept the limitations in yourself.

Loraine: I don't know. In theory, I agree.

Joe: What do you mean, "in theory"?

Loraine: Joe, I like feeling like my boyfriend wants to be with me. I like feeling like my boyfriend's actually excited to spend time with me. It's not fun feeling tolerated because somebody loves you.

Joe: But I'm not just tolerating you because I love you! I enjoy you like mad.

Loraine: What do you enjoy, Joe?

Joe: Everything about you.

Loraine: I have a hard time believing that.

Joe: Well, I accept everything about you because I love you. I enjoy being with you, even with all of your flaws and all the ways that you're different to me. I really wouldn't want you to change a single thing about you! That's how much I love you, Loraine.