Daoming Si flipped the joker card over jerkily in his fingers, leaning wearily against the cold metal wall as the breeze danced over him. Although he was reluctant to admit it, even to himself for fear of revealing his weakness, he was once more waiting restlessly for the Tiny One to appear. A pattern was emerging and he begrudged how much sway she had over him; he seemed to gravitate towards her without thinking, his actions all geared towards gaining her attention in some way. His thoughts were clouded as once again Dong Shancai ran relentless circles around his head. He had never realised being in love would be so exhausting, but he supposed he should have known better; everything about Shancai was a difficult challenge, why would loving her be straightforward? It seemed she had taken up a permanent residence in his thoughts, and he abhorred it as much as he adored it; his every thought of her was laced with the bitter edge of jealousy and marred by his hideous actions on the rooftop. Would he ever truly be able to cleanse himself of this sin? He wanted to run from her image, to erase her from his mind as much as he wanted to win her heart, to become her one and only. He was confused and exhausted, and the only thing currently anchoring him into reality was the joker card he was worrying between his fingertips. It was the very card that Shancai had launched back at him when she had kicked him, and it felt significant somehow, as if he was holding something that bound them together; it wasn't quite the same as the red thread of destiny he remembered reading about as a child, but it was something they had both touched, something that was marked with both their energy. Ah Si had taken to carrying it around with him at all times, it soothed him for reasons he was unsure of; perhaps it gave him comfort to know that in the near future, she would be forced to engage with him if she wanted to save face. Their relationship was hanging by an obscenely thin thread at the moment and it made him dizzy with anxiety; every time Ah Si closed his eyes, that dreaded kiss played on repeat in his head, making his heart ache as he recalled her terror. He fervently hoped she remembered his apology from the night before, but she had been so out of it; was it likely she recalled anything at all? However, the sun was tentatively breaking over the dark horizon his life seemed to have morphed into and he was cautiously hopeful against his better judgement; Shancai had been almost affectionate with him last night in her drunken haze, and he didn't know how to feel. She confused him completely, and he didn't know which way was up with her; she could make him feel elated and depressed in the space of ten seconds, so deeply did she affect him. He knew from experience that emotional walls could easily be broken down when one was drunk; he was definitely guilty of rambling when he had had a drink or few! He shivered involuntarily as he recalled her hand, pressing against his cheek as her eyes hazily roved over his face, his stomach tightening in anticipation for a kiss that had never blossomed into reality. Daoming Si would never take advantage of her when she was drunk, but it had been difficult to hold back; he had almost died of heart palpitations when she had called him pretty! It was a pity that Lei had also been on her mind too; he itched with jealousy every time she so much glanced at his unassuming friend, so to realise she found him attractive was the purest of tortures. He wanted to be the only man she thought of, but so far he was mightily unsuccessful. He doubted she ever even thought of him romantically at all, and it made him grit his teeth in frustration as his stomach roiled with distaste. Ah Si sighed deeply as he gripped the bridge of his nose in irritation, resigned as he slipped the joker card safely into his pocket. How much longer will I have to wait? He wondered vaguely, his shoulders slouching as he battled with his own inner demons.
Ah Si straightened sharply as Shancai suddenly appeared in his line of sight; he was starting to wonder if he had super powers, as every time he thought of her, she seemed to miraculously materialise. Then again, he was always thinking of her, so it was inevitable he supposed. He took a moment to drink her in, his eyes scrutinising her as she remained oblivious to his presence; he guessed some things would never change. The Daoming heir was mollified to note that she didn't look horrendously ill, just a little pale; he had expected her to have a raging hangover, she had imbibed so much alcohol the night before. Ah Si had to slap himself mentally as his mind filled with images of carrying her home, her body scorching on his back, and her thighs silky soft as he easily supported her weight. Shancai was light as a feather but he had still been breathless the entire journey; never before had she been so close to him or instilled such trust in him, it had made his knees positively weak. She had been so drunk she had scarcely been coherent, but still she had captivated all his senses. If she ever realised the power she held over him, he may be in for a headache! It had been a tremendous feat to keep her still; she was an adorable and restless drunk, and he had been obliged to chatter to her the whole way home just to keep her on his back, lest she run off on an ill-advised adventure to explore the next frivolous object that had caught her fancy. He had twice had to stop for her amusement, Shancai endearingly insistent, so she could pet a dog; she seemed to really love the animals, and he had gleaned some small satisfaction from her complete joy as she mussed their fur. He loved to watch her, and she didn't seem to mind so much when she was compromised; in fact, she had seized his hands several times to encourage him to also stroke the fluffy animals, her enthusiasm infectious. Each stroke of her fingers had been like touching a live wire; his body thrummed with energy whenever he was remotely near her, and it made him restless and dizzy at once. However, best of all, Shancai had buried her face in his neck, her shyness abandoned to the stratosphere as her eyelashes ticked his sensitive skin as she rambled, clearly forgetting her hatred of him for a short while; Ah Si had been immensely grateful for the brief respite. It was like finding an oasis in the middle of the Sahara; beautiful, refreshing and life altering. Shancai had cheerfully told him all about her favourite manga, her favourite song and her favourite food all in the space of five minutes, her spirits impossibly high and her voice bright; Ah Si had been hard pressed to get a word in edge ways, but he was content to listen to her talk, her inhibitions lost in her buzz. His happiness has been dampened somewhat when she had wondered aloud, her words slurring in her inebriation, what Lei's favourite food was, what Lei liked to read, what Lei's favourite colour could possibly be. It was all Lei, never Daoming Si, and it had stabbed into him like a serrated knife even as he made sure she was safe, forced to listen to the girl he liked gush about his best friend in the world. Was there any crueler form of punishment? He was painfully aware that she would never have dreamed about opening up to Daoming Si, her nemesis, if she was sober, but he would take any opportunity to learn more about her; she fascinated him more than anyone he had ever met. He just heartily wished she wasn't so fixated on his very best friend. Why did she not seem interested in him at all? It left an exceedingly bitter taste in his mouth. His mind swirled with the secret tidbits she had unwittingly revealed to him as she ambled unconsciously towards him, her pretty little head clearly high up in the clouds. He would bring her back down to earth with him, he vowed as he called out loudly "Dong Shancai."
