Jing was leaving and Ah Si didn't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, he was proud of Jing, his childhood friend, for breaking free of the chains that bound her, the shackles of her inheritance cast aside as she chased what she believed in. She had always been tenacious, he recalled fondly as he remembered their childhood days. They had been easier years, happier times, before all the heartache and strict familial expectations. He above all else knew the heavy burden of being the chosen heir, and he didn't blame her for wanting to lift the weight. She was going after what she dreamt of and Ah Si had the upmost admiration for that. He only hoped that one day he could be so brave. However, he was also concerned for Lei; his best friend had been so desperately in love with Jing for almost his entire life - he would be crushed, and Ah Si was worried that he and F4 wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. After all, Ah Si had only loved Shancai for such a short period, and he was already torn up inside over her; Lei's love was years long, deeply ingrained, how could he possibly survive such a heavy loss? Ah Si could only imagine how much he was hurting, and he worried for him even as he resented him for being the object of Shancai's affections. Lei was introverted and he didn't say much, but Ah Si knew that he felt things much more deeply than he admitted; his heart would be destroyed by this blow. And, if the Daoming heir was entirely honest with himself, he was also terrified of the implications of Jing leaving. He wasn't blind; he knew that Shancai was infatuated with his friend. And it killed him inside each and every time she fluttered her eyelashes his way, her eyes full of hope and longing. He imagined it was the same way he looked at her himself. He was scared, so very scared that Lei would turn to Shancai in his heartbreak and use her to mend himself over Jing, shattering Ah Si in the process so he could never be whole again. He didn't think his friend would purposefully betray him, but broken hearts worked in strange ways; there was the potential Lei would do anything to stifle the pain, use whoever he needed to to escape from the abyss. So yes, Ah Si was scared, utterly terrified actually; scared of how overwhelmingly in love he was with Shancai and scared of how wholly opposed to him she seemed to be. It was with a heavy heart that he switched off the engine to his car, gift balanced precariously in his arms as he went to send Jing off on her Parisian adventure. He felt like a man walking towards his execution, filled with dread and without hope; he needed someone to throw him a lifeline and tow him to shore before he drowned.
His heart twisted painfully when he saw her, standing surrounded by his friends, so small and delicate and everything he wanted in his world. It was essential put on a brave face, he couldn't send Jing off looking like he had just been slapped; she deserved better, she needed to know he was happy for her and whatever she decided to do. Ah Si pasted a plastic smile on his face as he settled back into his usual swagger, sauntering up to Shancai and his friends as if he didn't have a care in the world. Outward appearances could be deceptive, and he had always been schooled to keep a stiff upper lip; it was time to put all that into practice! It didn't matter how bad he felt inside, today wasn't about him. He drank her in as he walked to the group, her beauty both a soothing balm and searing wound on his tattered nerves. He needed to get it together, and he was grateful for the distraction when Meizuo queried "hey Ah Si, isn't Lei with you?" The Daoming heir was thrown by the question; surely Lei was already here, Jing's plane was almost ready to board - what the hell was he playing at? "He's not here?" He retorted incredulously, slight anger welling inside him as he realised that Lei wasn't planning on coming to say his goodbyes. How could he be such a coward, no matter how much he was hurting, surely Jing deserved his farewell? Ah Si was certain that no matter what, wherever his life took him, he would always screw up his courage to bid Shancai goodbye, no matter how much it would kill him to do so. He knew this in his heart. Lei, you're better than this he thought to himself peevishly as his gaze was once again drawn magnetically towards Shancai. She was looking at the floor, and her eyes swept up briefly to meet his before swiftly darting away. He was shrewd enough to realise she was still embarrassed by sullying his suit; she was just too adorable and he had to clench the box tighter in order to stop himself from pinching her cheek as he moved to stand beside her. He belonged beside her, he decided, his gaze piercing as he took in her glum face. He had to admit, he was surprised by her expression; he would have expected her to be elated Jing was leaving, clearing the path for her to have a shot at Lei. He should have known better, he supposed, as he watched her covertly, she had never acted the way he expected; she looked like her heart was breaking for Jing as she watched the older girl queue at the check in desk.
