today without tomorrow // seongjoong

shining lights

Morning hours rolled by, and Seonghwa was still at Wooyoung's house. When his eyes fluttered open due to the morning light, he noticed that the boy that had given him that indulgent pleasure had already left. He groaned gruelingly, sitting up from the bed. He found his jeans immediately and took out his phone, switching the screen on to check notifications, but surprisingly found none.

He unlocked his phone with his fingerprint — the memo app was open and something was written. His eyes began flicking over the words carefully, since his hangover prevented him from truly focusing.

Heyyyy guy I slept with. Sorry for sucking your dick, I guess we both just really wanted it. Also, sorry for using your finger to unlock your phone to write this.
Couldn't help but notice that your boyfriend is really pissed at you, so you most likely will end up single by tonight. I cleared your message notifs as I read them, sorry, it was an accident. You also gave me a shit ton of hickeys, so I'll most likely be single as well. If you want to talk, then here's my number: ××-××××-××××. We can both regret our decisions together lmao
— Hongjoong

Seonghwa groaned tiredly. "I can't believe I fucked a stranger…"

"I can't believe it either." Wooyoung stepped into the room, holding a glass of water. "Sorry, we're out of painkillers. I had to deal them out between other people that stayed and I think Yeosang accidentally OD'd on 8 of them."

"It's fine, I can handle my hangovers," Seonghwa mumbled, leaning against the headboard after drinking the class of water.

"You slept with Kim Hongjoong — he has a boyfriend and they've been dating for over 6 years," Wooyoung told him as he sat down on the bed.

Seonghwa widened his eyes. "Did I just ruin a 6-year relationship?!"

"Seems so," Wooyoung chuckled. "He asked me what your name was, so I told him. He looked really wrecked, what did you two do last night?"

Seonghwa felt redness overcome his cheeks. Embarrassment courses through him in an instant. "A lot." He shifted uncomfortably and looked away to avoid eye contact with Wooyoung. "I love Ahyun — I really do. But that sex last night was the best I had in months. I… I can't stop thinking about him."

"If you really love Ahyun, why would you get drunk and have sex with someone else? Didn't you work on defending yourself as not being a cheater? But look at you now."

Seonghwa looked away as he began feeling the slightest guilt. He didn't understand why he didn't particularly feel very guilty, despite knowing that he should. He thought that maybe he had gotten what he wanted that night — to forget the terrible relationship he was in with Ahyun. And now that he was forgetting, he actually felt worried.

"Wooyoung, I don't think I… I don't think I love Ahyun anymore."

Wooyoung crossed his arms, giving Seonghwa a deadpan stare. "Called it."

Seonghwa frowned in confusion. "Called it?"

Wooyoung shook his head. "There had to be a reason Ahyun was feeling insecure about your relationship. It just shows that it looked like you didn't love him anymore and showed it without even knowing. He assumed that you loved someone else. It may have not been the case exactly, but you clearly didn't love him anymore."

Seonghwa sighed. "I don't want to let him go."

"You're being selfish," Wooyoung said, standing up from the bed. "Get up. You need to change the bed sheets, your jizz is all over it."

"Don't just blame me, I slept with someone. It's not like I jerked off onto it and it was only my fault." He sighed heavily as he stood up. He stared at the device in his hands before typing a number into his phone. "I need to talk to Hongjoong."

•

Hongjoong couldn't stop the tears forming in his eyes as Eunyoung stared long and hard at him. One by one, the salty proof of sadness fell down his cheeks.

"You're really going to cry? Now?" Eunyoung spoke softly but harshly. Hongjoong choked out a sob, wiping away his tears immediately.

"I didn't mean to—"

"You didn't mean to have sex with someone else?! Was it just an accident?! Was all of it a fucking accident?!" Eunyoung yelled, throwing Hongjoong into more fear and hopelessness. He couldn't find the will to tell Eunyoung why he cheated — he couldn't explain that he no longer felt loved. "Who was it?"

"I don't know," Hongjoong muttered, his voice breaking multiple times. "I was w-wasted, so I couldn't tell and I d-didn't really care."

Eunyoung pushed his lengthy hair out his face, resting his head against the lower part of his palm. "I really can't believe you would sleep with someone else. I thought… I thought you loved me, Joongah."

Hongjoong shook his head quickly. "N-no, you have to understand. I do love you, and I always will. Please, understand me."

Eunyoung shook his head. "Just… why would you?"

Hongjoong felt firmness fill his body. He inhaled sharply before wiping away the newly formed tears. "Because you don't love me anymore." He felt anger bubbling up inside him quickly as he spoke. "You don't love me. Look at us now. I'm crying — I'm scared I'm going to lose the one I love. But you're stone cold. You don't care if you lose me." He sniffled as more tears formed in his chocolate brown eyes. "Look at what we've become…"

Eunyoung pulled the small boy into an embrace, wrapping his arms around Hongjoong's small frame. He rested his head on the boy's, breathing in his scent gently. "You're right. I'm tired of caring. 6 years is long, isn't it, Joongah?"

Hongjoong sniffled. "How long? How long has it been since you stopped caring?"

"A while," was all Eunyoung said before pulling away. "I hope you enjoyed last night, because I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"Just leave," Hongjoong sobbed out, turning away from the taller boy. "Get out my face. Take all your shit and leave."

Eunyoung turned to the door and walked towards it. He opened the door and lifted his hood. He looked back at Hongjoong for a moment before sighing. "I'll pick up my stuff in the week."

Hongjoong remained silent for a bit, doing nothing but sobbing. He frowned, looking at his phone as it began vibrating with an unknown number.