Ishihara // ATEEZ ✔

14 Alone

She feels lost. Alone. She has no one by her side now. Even between the queen and her, Yunho would undoubtedly choose to save Emira instead of her. It has always been like this, but after confirming the truth through someone else, she has fallen into a deeper pit and she can't seem to get out. She has always known that Queen Emira has treated her differently ever since she ascended the throne. But she has never thought that her hate for her amounts to her wanting to kill Akira. But why?

She hugs her knees to her chest and she does something that she has probably only done twice in her whole life - once when she was born and once when she received the news that they couldn't find her real parents. She cries. Hard. She wants to succumb to her sadness quietly but she can hear her sobs resonating through her whole bedroom. She has never felt so feeble. The wall that she has put around her to deflect any emotional pain has finally crumbled down, only because she has finally confirmed what she has been trying to deny all this time. She remembers all the times she has bowed to the queen, accepting any orders that has been thrusted upon her without any questions asked.

Now here she is, in a kingdom that is foreign to her, questioning her own existence.

Her body feels weak, she is in pain and the tears will not stop falling. She finds that the fragile surface that she has been treading on ever since she was born has finally broken. Every time she roughly wipes the tears, it keeps streaming down her cheeks. She goes over to the wall, plucks the dagger from the wall and scrutinizes Yunho's name. Defeated, she throws the dagger back into the drawer and crashes back onto her bed. She doesn't feel like doing anything, and she wants to drift off to sleep.

It's even better if she doesn't wake up at all.

---

Yeosang raps on the door multiple times, almost breaking down the door. Still, there isn't any answer from the other side. Feigning annoyance, he reaches for the doorknob in hopes that it's unlocked. Of course it isn't.

"Park Seonghwa, if you don't open the door this instant I will break it down. Don't you test my patience."

Silence. No answer.

"If you don't open the door I will chop off the plants you've been taking care of."

There is still no answer.

"He's really upset," he whispers to himself. "Seonghwa... you can't stay mad. She was sent here by the queen's orders. She only didn't tell us about her identity as a soldier, that's all. You can't blame her. If you want to blame someone, take it out on the queen. You know how Lucida is with their hierarchy-"

The door unlocks and it is left slightly ajar, as a sign of inviting him in. He walks in to find Seonghwa on his bed, an arm draped over his eyes.

"Are you... crying?" Yeosang asks gingerly.

"I'm- not-" he chokes up.

"Ayy, you are. She hasn't even left for Lucida yet you're already crying like a baby."

"I wanted to be mad at her... but I can't."

"Damn, you must have seriously fallen for her so hard. I've never heard you sound so sappy."

Seonghwa wipes his tears before straightening his back. Yeosang is now sitting at the corner of his bed.

"I... I don't like her. It's weird to fall for someone when I've only met her for one day. But somehow, it hurts when I know that she isn't who I think she is."

He titters. "Seonghwa, I think you're far from normal and you actually having feelings for another human being is actually a miracle." He gets up, stares at the painting of the sky on the ceiling and smiles. "It's been 4 years but we are still going on strong, aren't we? Don't you think it's time for us to reveal the truth? It's bound to get out someday."