Ishihara // ATEEZ ✔

50 |1| Destiny

He can't tell whether the moment is a dream or reality, as he's standing in the middle of his own garden, the flowers bloooming prettily and the chatters of the insects - bees, butterflies, ants - are a mixture of incoherent words. The sky is blue and the sun is nowhere in sight, so it's not too hot and he's finding himself closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling. He has no idea of the time, and he never intends of finding out because he simply wants to lose himself in the moment. As he crosses the bridge over the pond, he stops in his tracks as he sees someone on the other end. As he looks at the person, he thinks to himself, this is definitely a dream.

Akira is making her way over to him, wearing the brightest smile he ever saw. Oh how he misses that smile. They meet at the middle. She is wearing the very same purple dress she wore to her first and last ball of her life, but her arms and legs are clean of any battle wounds. He aches to touch her again, to feel her skin against his and he fears for the worst as he reaches out his hand. But he feels it, the smoothness and warmness of her skin, how his fingers tingle as he touches her face. He cups her smiling face, spending the time he has to observe every feature of her face; the barely noticeable dimple forming on her left cheek as she smiles, the small scar on her forehead partially covered by her hair, her glistening brown irises and the mole that she has on the middle of her lower lip. He wants to absorb every inch of her face, keep it in his memory because he doesn't want to forget. Who knows whether he'll get a chance like this ever again?

As he's too preoccupied by her full figure appearing in front of him after so long, he is startled when her voice flows through his ears, pushing his thoughts further, reminding him of how bad he actually misses Akira. One year feels too short as the memory of her dying in his arms is still too fresh in his mind, how her body goes rigid as he can't feel her pulse anymore, but at the same time one year feels too long without her by his side. What would have happened if she, Mingi and Yunho stayed alive? Would they be together in Nyla, trying to build a new life as they leave their past behind? Would it be that easy?

"I never expected Park Seonghwa to have blonde hair. You always struck me as the person that has some kind of dark-coloured hair. Though I'm not complaining, since you look good anyway," is the first thing that she says as she grins. He realizes two things: this Akira can see colours and if so, she can see his eyes. His emotions.

"I missed you a lot," he replies, gripping her hands next.

"And I missed you a lot too," she looks straight into his eyes and studies them. "So this is how your eyes look like when they're coloured. They're really... pretty."

He cannot hide his emotions from Akira anymore; she can see the colours, she will know. Ironically, he himself doesn't know what colours his eyes are now. His emotions inside are jumbled up, so how would they show up in his eyes?

"Blue suits you well," she suddenly says and he knows which emotion is overpowering the others. Sadness is his strongest feeling right now. "But I hate it. I hate the fact that I'm the one who caused your eyes to turn blue."

He pulls her into a hug, wanting to feel the warmness of her body. He mumbles, "I know that I can't turn back time but I can't shake off this feeling that I could've done something to stop you and Yunho that day. I just... I need to hear it from you."

She pulls away lightly, carresses his face before saying, "Seonghwa, when I said I love you that night I regretted it, but I only regretted it because I ended up causing so much pain to you after I said it. My feelings towards you... I never regretted it one bit. Please don't blame yourself for whatever happened. And for the rest of the boys too, because no matter how much you tried to help us, it was our decision in the end."

"So that day..."

"We were the ones who stepped into the queen's chambers knowing fully what we're doing. Seonghwa, we knew the tea was poisoned. We were the ones who drank it. No matter what, we were the ones who decided to lift the cup. It was never your fault in the first place. It was simply a conclusion of our battle with Lucida and it wasn't even supposed to involve Nyla at all. It wasn't supposed to involve Mingi."