Kiwi | Harry Styles

Thirty-Nine

Harry

"H, can I borrow this shirt?" Jessi's head poked out of the wardrobe door.

"Sure." I smiled, having no clue what she planned to do with the black silk shirt, but I'd give that girl anything she asked for. I looked down at my outfit, unsure if I should change again. I was nervous, I know our families had met before but during Jessi's party there were other people to keep everyone distracted. What if Danny didn't like us or maybe he wouldn't get our humour? Maybe somebody would embarrass me? Maybe somebody would upset Jess and this whole thing would blow up in our faces? I kicked my foot against the floor to pull myself out my own head. I should change my boots. I walked over to the wardrobe and toed off my tan boots, pulling a pair of black YSL boots out and moving to the bed to put them on.

"You look pretty." Jessi's voice pulled my head up from my feet.

"You look prettier." I grinned, she'd turned my shirt into a dress with a cute corset belt and she'd finished the look off with some ankle boots. "I don't know if this is too casual or maybe my shirt is too -"

"Hey! My boyfriend does not get anxious about fashion, what's up?" Her heels clicked on the wooden floor before the bedroom rug muffled them. "And your outfit is spot on, neither too casual or too dressy. Perfect." She pushed my long curly hair back from my face, and I felt myself become lost in her beauty, her soft lips framing her smile that never failed to light up a room.

"Nervous." I confessed as I took one last look at my skinny jeans and red Gucci shirt with eagles printed on it.

"Aww Harry! Sweetie!" She hugged me close, stepping between my legs and cradling my head against her boobs. "You don't have to be nervous. Everybody has already met and they all seem to get on well and Danny loves you - most of my exes would not have survived feeling me up in public." She chuckled which made her boobs jiggle. I placed a kiss where the little indent between her breasts would be and she sighed happily as she ran her fingers through my hair, a calmness spread through my body, like when I hear her voice after all the screaming from a show has stopped. I feel grounded, secure, loved.

"You know it doesn't matter, right?" Her voice is soft and calming. "Even if tonight ends in World War three, I'll still love you." She placed a kiss to my head, and I held her tighter.

"Me too." I mumbled against her body.

The door buzzer made us both jump. "You good?" She asked cupping my cheeks with her hands. I nodded and kissed her gently as I stood up. I smiled as I watched her walk to answer the door. "Hey Danny!"

"Hey Angel! Hi Harry!" Danny smiled. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah." We both replied. "I'll get the flowers." I told Jess, and she placed a kiss to Severus' head before she followed Danny out to his car. I grabbed the bunch of Peonies and Roses and locked up. I would definitely miss this place when we went back on tour in a few days.

The car was silent as we pulled into Green-Wood. Jessi's hand was fidgety in mine but apart from our connected hands she'd withdrawn into herself. Her free hand was hugged around her middle and I was sure if she didn't have shoes on then she'd be curled in the fetal position. Her eyes were blankly staring out the window, not looking at anything in particular.

"You want me to go first?" Danny's voice broke the silence once the car had stopped. Jessi nodded, her eyes fixing on a headstone close to the car. I watched as Danny made his way there, his bunch of bright pink Roses nestled safely in his arms.

"What do you do when you visit? Do you pray?" I asked and her hand squeezed mine.

"Danny does but I - well - who would I pray to? According to God suicide is a sin so in that case my Mum would be in hell, wouldn't she? And that's just bullshit! She wasn't a bad person." She paused, but she started talking before I could say anything, "I know it's stupid but I like to talk to her, tell her what's going on in my life." I wanted to tell her it wasn't stupid, but she was climbing out the car, apparently Danny had finished. I held her hand tightly and held onto the flowers with my other hand.