Kiwi | Harry Styles

Sixty

Harry

"Where are they Mum? They've been gone for ages." I complained, my feet slapping against the tiled floor as I paced back and forth. Robin had taken Jess out so he could tell her about his illness and I couldn't settle. I'd been for a shower and I was currently burning my way through three Jo Malone, Sweet Almond and Macaroon candles. My apartment smelled coco-nuttier than a coconut plantation but the scent which usually calmed me was doing nothing to ease the anxious knot swirling in my stomach. 

"Harry, love calm down. They've barely been gone an hour. They're having lunch. It might be some time yet." I could tell she was just as anxious as I was.

"Sorry Mum, it's just -"

"I know but we'll all get through this together, Sweetheart. Now sit down, you're making me nervous." She instructed as she pulled me down onto the sofa. "You should try to rest. I heard you up in the middle of the night." Her arms wrapped around me tightly, it was comforting but my mind was stuck on Jessi. I hoped she'd be okay.

-----

I woke up on the sofa to the sound of the front door and voices, chattering loudly. I must have fallen asleep.

"Hey Styles, did you have a late night last night?" Jessi smiled, plopping herself down on the sofa beside my feet. I could see Robin chatting to my Mum in the Kitchen.

"How was lunch? Are you okay?" She was taking this way better than I expected.

"I'm OK. Robin is going to be fine. I got him an appointment with Dr Robinson. He's amazing. He cured this 7-year-old boy, you might have read about it. Doctors said they couldn't do anything for him either. But Robin will be fine Harry, I know he will." Her fingers gently rubbed my feet as she rambled on about how amazing this Doctor was. My feet softened at her touch and I wanted to get lost in the glimmer of hope she was giving but I couldn't. We'd been through all this and it would only hurt more in the long run.

"Jessi, stop! You can't do this. Everything won't be fine. You have to face up to that." I whispered so my Mum and Robin wouldn't hear.

"NO I DON'T!" She slammed her palms into the sofa, pushing herself up and marching away from me. "Robin, I'll see you tomorrow." She breathed before hugging both Robin and my Mum and saying goodbye before she left. And just like that, the ball of anxiety returned to my stomach. I shouldn't have been so hard on her.

"This is a bad idea." I said out loud to nobody in particular.

"I tried to talk her out of it but you know how stubborn she can be. Once she gets an idea in her head, then you will never change her mind." I knew exactly what he meant. I once watched Zayn try to convince her that him smoking marijuana wasn't any more dangerous than him smoking cigarettes for over two hours, by the end of it she still wasn't budging.

"She's just going to end up hurt and disappointed." I sighed.

"Well, Sweetheart, that's inevitable. It doesn't really make much difference if it happens today or  tomorrow. The important thing is that we're there for her when it does." My Mum stroked my arm, comfortingly. I felt bad for chasing Jess away, I hoped she'd be okay.

----------

"Harry?" Mitch flicked a guitar pick at me. He played guitar in my band and had quickly become one of my best friends. Everyone else had gone off for coffee.

"Yeah?" I asked, feeling bad that I wasn't paying attention but I just couldn't concentrate.

"Dude, are you okay? You've been spaced out all morning?" He put his guitar down and gave me a worried look.