Kiwi | Harry Styles

Fifty-Seven

Jessi

"Can we talk now?" Fred flopped down in the seat beside me.

"Yeah, you okay? You've been kinda quiet tonight." I smiled. Him and Jamie were usually inseparable but Jamie had been off with some girl all night, the fact Fred wasn't with one of her girlfriends was odd.

"Jessi - I - christ I have to get it out - I can't tell Harry - I just can't - I'm in love-"

"There you are! Wanna dance?" Mickey interrupted.

"No, thanks." I replied politely, turning my attention back to Fred. The panicked look on his face made me want to hug him tight. 

"Okay, what are you guys talking about?" Mickey sat down on my other side.

"Could you give us some space please? It's a private conversation." I turned my head towards Mickey and felt relieved when he left. "Sorry, Fred. Go on!"

"I'm in love with Jamie." He breathed out all in one go and I saw the relief flooding his face. 

"Does he like you?" I turned towards Fred as I glanced at Jamie grinding against some girl.

"I don't know." He frowned. "I mean I always thought Jamie was straight but a few months ago he brought this girl back to our flat." I nodded for him to continue. "So anyway, to cut a long story short we'd all been drinking, and it comes up that this girl likes to watch guys kiss, right?" I nodded, feeling pretty disappointed that Jamie would use his friend like this.

"So you kissed?"

"Well, see here's the thing. Jamie got pissed at her, told her I wasn't some toy for her amusement but she meant nothing by it she didn't know I was Bi. So yeah, she left and before I knew what was happening Jamie was straddling my lap and he - he kissed me."

"Shit!" I exclaimed. 

"I know, right?" Fred replied.

"So what happened? What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything, we snogged for a bit and it was becoming pretty obvious he was enjoying it, you know?" I nodded to show I understood what he meant. "But he was wasted, so I stopped it and made sure he got to bed okay and he hasn't mentioned it since, I don't even think he remembers." Fred sighed.

"Bloody hell, you need to talk to him." I glanced over to see Jamie looking around the bar, a smile spreading across his face when he spotted Fred.

"I can't. He's my best friend Jess. It's gonna fuck up everything."

"Trust me, saying nothing can fuck things up just as bad." I sighed as my eyes landed on Harry. He was dancing with Lori and she was blind drunk, his eyes didn't know where to look.

"Hey Fred, where have you been hiding?" Jamie said, shooing me to make a space for him to sit next to Fred. "Talk to him." I mouthed to Fred as I moved further down the bench, trying to give them some privacy. My eyes drifted back towards Harry. He had a bottle of water in his hand as he chatted with a few people. I watched in wonder as he had the crowd hanging on his every word, laughing when he wanted them to laugh.

"Fuck! I want him back."

"WHAT?" Ed exclaimed. Shit! Did I just say that out loud?

"Huh? Where the hell did you come from?" I tried to pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"You want Harry back? Since when? Go get him!" Ed almost squealed.

"He has a girlfriend besides I can't. I don't even - I feel like I don't know what to say to him anymore." I sighed.