HYYH The Notes Chronologically

Hoseok, 25 February, Year 21

I danced without taking my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. The me in the mirror had feet that didn't touch the ground, lifted up and was free from the standards and gazes of the world. There was nothing important, nothing that made my heart beat in my chest other than moving my body in time with the music.

The first time I danced was around the time I was twelve. Maybe it would have been for a talent show on a field trip. I stood on stage, led by my friends. The things I remember from that day are the sound of applause and the sense that I had finally become myself. Of course, at that time it was only that I felt enjoyment from moving my body in time to the music. I would only learn much later that feeling was joy, and that joy wasn't from the applause but from somewhere within.

The me outside the mirror is hung up on so many things. My feet can only leave the ground for a few seconds at a time. When I hate something, I smile and when I'm sad I laugh. I collapse just about anywhere, even though I take medicine I don't really need. So, when I dance, I try not to take my eyes off the me in the mirror. The moment that I can become my truest self. The moment that I can throw away all the heavy things and fly away. The moment that I believe that I can become happy. I protect those moments.