HYYH The Notes Chronologically

Yoongi, 15 June, Year 22

Theclanking, ringing noise in my head of music was the only thing I couldrecognize. How much I'ddrunk, where this was, what I was doing. Didn't want to know, not even important. I saw it was night as I stumbledoutside. I swayed. Whether it was a passerby, kiosk or wall, I just crashedinto it, however. It didn'tmatter. I just wanted to forget everything. Jimin's voice was still clear. 'Hyung. Jungkook -.' The next memory was of running crazily up the hospital stairs. Thehospital corridor was long and dark, to the point of strangeness. People inhospital gowns passed me. My heart was racing. Everybody's faces were too pale. They didn't even have any expression. They were like deadpeople. In my head, the sound of my breath shook me raggedly.Pasta hospital door left ajar, Jungkook was lying down. I didn't even realize that I swiveled my head back. Icouldn'tlook. At that moment, suddenly, the sound of a piano, a fire, a buildingcrashing down could be heard. I wrapped my head in my arms and slid to theground. It said it was because of me. It said if only I didn't exist. The voice of my mum – no, my own voice – no, someone else'svoice. With those words, I was pained for a long time. I wanted to believe itwasn'tso. But Jungkook was lying there. In a corridor where patients were going toand fro. As if dead, Jungkook was lying there. I truly could not enter. I couldnot check. As I stood, my legs swayed. As I went back, tears formed. It was afunny thing. I didn'tremember the last time I'dcried. AsI was trying to cross the road, I turned around, for someone grabbed onto myarm. Who was it? No, it didn't matter. Whoever it was, it'd be the same. Don'tcome near. Go. Please just leave me alone. I don't want to hurt you too. I don't want to get hurt. So please don't come closer.