HYYH The Notes Chronologically

Taehyung, 1 May, Year 22

"Hyung, is that all? You aren't hiding anything else from us?" Our surroundings became quiet simultaneously. Everyone's eyes were on me. I looked at Seokjin hyung. He looked back at me. His eyes were full of exhaustion and pity. Somebody grabbed my arm and stopped me before I could press the issue again. I didn't have to look to know it was Namjoon hyung.

"What does it have to do with you? You aren't my real brother." I could feel Namjoon's stare. I shook off his hand without lifting my head. I knew that I was angry at him for no reason. I repeated the words I heard hyung use on the phone - that I was angry, that I was upset. His words weren't incorrect. I was a year younger than him. I wasn't his brother. It was true that I should take care of myself, but I was still upset. I was angrier than I could put into words. I hoped he'd understand.

"Taehyung-ah I'm sorry. Let's stop talking about this." It was Seokjin hyung who said this. It was Seokjin hyung who called my name. It was Seokjin hyung who apologized. Namjoon hyung didn't do anything. "What do you mean stop? Since it's come up, why don't we talk about everything? You have something else you're hiding."

"Let's talk outside." Namjoon hyung replied holding onto my arm again. He dragged me out before I could shake him off. "Let me go. What right do you have to stop me? What do you know, hyung? You don't know anything. You just think he's this great guy, right?" He let go of my arm after that. I stumbled at the release. No, it wasn't just him letting me go that made me stumble. When he released my arm, it felt as if everything that had sustained me for so long crumbled. Perhaps I hoped he'd never let go, that he'd get angry and drag me out the way he did. Perhaps I hoped he'd scold me like a real brother, like someone close and precious.

But hyung let go of my arm, and I could only laugh. "What's so special about being together? What are we to each other? We're all alone in the end." That was the moment Seokjin hyung hit me.