HYYH The Notes Chronologically

Jungkook, 26 July, Year 22

When I looked back, the hospital was a faraway place. I couldn't see the bench I left those wildflowers nor the window I looked out with her anymore. She was a space that let me breathe in the stuffy atmosphere of the hospital. We'd sit on that bench and talk about everything until the sun would set. I talked about playing in the hideout and vacations I took to the beach and walking to the train station. She told me about the corners of the hospital and which window you could watch the river from, and the which staircase secretly led to the roof. There wasn't anything she didn't know about that hospital.

Her room was empty because she was discharged. Or did she move to a different hospital? I asked the nurses, but they said it was confidential. A corner of my soul felt empty. When I turned around and started walking, I could see the school. It seemed that everything I ever told her about myself had something to do with the hyungs. Every story I told incorporated them in some way. For the lonelier part of me, the hyungs had become my friends, family, and teachers. My story was intertwined with theirs, and I only existed within them.

At some point, it occurred to me there may come a time after my time spent with them. One day I may go looking only to discover that they'd be gone. Or maybe something else could happen. I didn't know.

I thought about that night, when the moon ascended in the sky, the world turned upside down, the headlamps inverted on themselves, the car passed me and then disappeared, the sound of the engine. It was familiar for some reason. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but I kept thinking about that moment.