FIRST

I want to die

CHAPTER 3 (Through Max's Eyes)

I want to die. I've been wanting to die for a thousand years. I'm so sick of running and hiding. There have been small bits throughout time where i've lived without being chased or hunted but they truly mean nothing when you've been around as long as i have. I have read every book there is to read, traveled to every country, city, and town that exists. Not even the smallest village is hidden from me. I've done everything there is to be done and i'm sick of it. I'm so tired of living this life that i will never be able to escape. I've prayed to the moon goddess a million times to revoke my punishment and let me die. I know that devil of a women is watching me and laughing. Snarky little bitch. I hate her with everything in me. She has kept me prisoner to the burden of life and then continues holding my mate away from me. You'd think after a thousand years she'd get over what happened. But no, she continues to torment me. And now i am running through the woods away from hunters who love to hold grudges for things that happened centuries before they were born. You may ask, 'Why are you running when you can't be killed?' Well my answer to that is simple: I can still be tortured and if i get caught i don't know how long it'll be before i'm released. Last time it was 50 years. I'm running at more of a slow jog considering im miles away from the hunters, i used all i had for the first hour to give myself a head start before going towards the city. Over the years i've caught on to the fact that hiding in large cities makes it significantly harder for hunters to track werewolves. Looking up at the sky, it is slightly covered by smoke which must be drifting over from a campfire. I do know there is a pack located near here but not exactly where, they must be doing a big bonfire of some sorts to get this kind of overcast. I won't lie, i miss having a pack. Although i don't need the support or protection like normal wolfs need because of my status. I do miss the family mentality. Always having people who will lay their lives down for you, take care of you, believe in you. It's depressing to think about. I'm now walking, jumping over fallen trees and ducking under low hanging branches. I walk for about an hour and a half in silence before i hear the zip of an arrow through the air. It embeds itself in the trunk of the tree ten feet in front of me. I whip my head back in surprise, the ends of my hair lightly hit me in the face as i use my enhanced eyesight to try and judge how far away they were. By sight and smell the group still must be at least 20 minutes behind me so how did they shoot an arrow that strong so far? My eyes widen in realization as i look above me. The trees. I break out at an inhuman speed as another arrow whizzes through the air, hitting the spot my head had been not but 10 seconds ago. I'm going faster than a speeding train and faster than a cheetah. When i woke up this morning, i didn't realize that this was how my day was going to go; Running at full speed through the temperate deciduous forests of New York state. How wonderful. I've been running for only ten minutes when i see the tree line coming to an end, opening up to a road. If i can get there then it'll take a while for them to regroup to the other side of the forest. From there it's a straight line to the city where i can stay there for a few days before rounding back and going home. Just as i break from the forest, a pair of car headlights almost ram into me before the driver slams on the breaks, i rest my shaking palms on the car's hood before sucking in a large breath of air. I nearly become crippled as my wolf powerfully slams his consciousness against my own over and over again as if to jump out of my body.
'What's wrong?!' i growl back at my wolf
'Mate'. He says back slowly. I freeze, my heart stops beating for half of a millisecond and i nearly fall over at those words. Its then, that i smell her and slowly look at her through the windshield, less than five feet away from me, sitting in the safety of her car, eyes wide and panicked as they stared into mine was my mate. I'm not sure if she even noticed our bond because of the situation and the fact that it's happening so fast. Since she's just a normal she-wolf and my senses are much more advanced and matured than hers will ever be; i would be surprised if she realized. If there's one thing i know for sure, it's that she's absolutely perfect, in every sense of the word. I could stand her for another millennium if it meant just looking at her, seeing her and knowing she's here, existing, breathing the same air i am. Our moment is cut short as a rogue arrow comes down from the sky and lands in the hood of her car. My mate flies back into her seat in surprise and anger flares up inside of me at the thought of how close the arrow was to her. I furiously rip the arrow out of the hood and with reluctance i pull myself away from the car and back into the woods, not before taking a long deep breath of her scent to find later. My wolf growls and seethes inside my head for leaving our mate but he knows as well i do, it would have been bad if we stayed. I promise him that we'll track her as soon as we're in the clear. My wolf agrees and takes a quiet seat in the back of my head. I heard a while ago that now a days, The human part and the wolf part don't communicate with each other unless in a state of emergency. The put up some sort of mental mind block between each other and i find that absolute ludacris. My wolf and i are very close, maybe that's only because we've been each others only friends for so long. I don't know what i would do without my wolf.
I continue running for the next two hours before i enter the city and slow to a walk to avoid gathering attention. The time leans closer towards two am when i climb a buildings fire escape to the very top. Luckily for me there are multiple clothes lines hanging up. I snatch a black t-shirt to replace my ripped up blue one, i leave my black jeans alone and grab a random jacket that is a size too small to cover my dirty arms. I avoid going to sleep simply because i'm too wired about my mate.I spend the rest of the night thinking to myself, occasionally speaking with my wolf, and waiting for the sun to come up so i can begin to look for her.
By the time dawn comes around i let myself find a quiet secluded place for my wolf to roam for a while considering i've been keeping him locked up for some time. Twenty minutes out of the city towards connecticut i find a the perfect patch of land where no one should find us for quite a while. I strip out of my clothes before slowing my breathing and letting my wolf take over, my bones quickly snap and reform in new places as dark black fur replaces what used to be skin. We have now switched positions where my wolf is in the front seat and i am simply the passenger, along for the ride. Although he can't block me out like i can him, i always choose to let him do his own thing strictly for the fact that we share this body. The pain of shifting is more like a pinch to me after all these years. I put the trust of my wolf at the forefront as i mentally close my eyes and drift off. When i come to, it's because of my wolf nudging me.
'Get up so we can find mate' He says.
'You're all done?' I question, it feels as if i slept for only an hour,
'We've been this way for seven hours, go find mate'. SEVEN HOURS?! I shoot forward and transform back into myself before tugging my clothes back on and beginning the walk back towards the city. I figure my mate is somewhere in the city since the road she was on last night only goes that way. I don't care if it takes me days, i'll scour the entire tri state area until i find her. It's 12pm when i make it back and i start in a random direction of the bronx. I'll make my way through the city as the day goes on.
By eight in the night i've found nothing. I've searched the bronx, manhattan, and queens and nothing. I'm becoming undone. My mind is swirling with thoughts that are meant to be against me. What if it was the moon goddess playing a cruel trick on me? What if i imagined her because of my exhaustion? I'm beginning to go insane. I'm walking aimlessly through brooklyn when my stomach makes a loud noise signalling that i need substance of some sort. I haven't eaten in almost 32 hours and with all of the running and adrenaline i've used up, i need something to eat. I find a small diner on some small intersection. The smell of waffles and all types of good things engulfs my senses as i walk in. Immediately i'm seated by a young human girl who is not shy at all with staring. I just sit down in the chair when she throws a menu in my face and shoves her bust in my face. Not literally of course but she's close enough that it can be considered shoving.
"Whad ya want?" She smacks on her gum and smirks at me. I crack open the menu and quickly skim it before putting it back down.
"Yeah...could i get four of your classic waffles, a plate of bacon, a plate of scrambled eggs with cheese, and a plate of white bread." I finish quickly and hand the men back to her.
"Yeahhhhhh" she draws "-You can definitely get some of these waffles babe" I ignore her advancements and add to my order.
"Mhm can i also get a glass of water" She slowly begins to get the hint when i refuse to pay attention to her breasts and her flirty remarks. She hums a 'yup' before walking away. My food is speedy coming out and i decide to take my delicious time eating, savoring every bite. By the end of the night it's hitting 10pm and i pay for the bill by slapping a stray twenty dollar bill i found in my back pocket on the table before walking out. I make my way towards manhattan and even at almost 11 o'clock at night, the streets are still as energetic as ever and the buzz of life is loud. I find myself walking among the traffic of people when i catch the scent.
'MATE' my wolf howls. I pick up the pace before stopping when i see her, across the street, tangled in the mess of people. Stiff as a board and slowly sniffing the air. She knows! She must know! I wait for her to look my way but instead she continues walking with her head down, the smell of fresh rain in the summer and apples become less prominent as she gets farther away. I walk at a slow pace behind where she is located and i avoid crossing the street until she does. I know she can feel my stare but doesn't do anything. I watch her walk into an apartment building before i follow around the back, looking for the fire escape. Once i find it i slowly climb it until i find a window on the 8th floor that is oozing at the brim with her scent. I'm shaking in anticipation and the nerves are almost making me lose control with the fact that my mate, my soulmate, the one i've been forced to wait centuries upon centuries for is right on the other side of this window is overwhelming. But still, i think to myself, what if this is all a sick joke the moon goddess is playing on me? What if the second i touch her, she dies and i'm stuck here forever, without her. All alone like i've been, except this time there's no waiting, theres just the fact of knowing i'll be alone forever.
Finished- 11/25/18- 12:13 AM