My life as of now

How i feel

I DONT
But I'm sorry
I DONT FEEL
but I'm sorry

I used it to gain what I wanted and when I didn't need it any more I simply tossed it to the side I didn't get rid of it I just left it right were I wanted it so that I could come back at any time I wanted
It took me loosing everything I loved and cared about I even lost emotion in itself
Just to see how bad what I was doing really was
It was like a drug I was addicted
Addicted to everything about it I was blind
I went from sitting with friends at lunch to sitting on the stairs on a different campus I was funny now I'm not I had friends and now I don't
I didn't cry and now I do on the inside at every moment of every interactions of every breath two word and word to sentence and sentence to paragraph and paragraph to life of a time when I used to be liked

I'm scared at this new place people here are different people here do things that I don't associate and I can feel my self slipping I can feel my self loosing again and I'm scared but how can I be scared when I don't FEEL

THE ANSWER ? I don't fucking know

All I know is it scares me while I was not the best of kids back home , but these kids put even the worst kids at my school to shame except for one who I will not name but HE IS THE LOWEST OF LOWS if you know you know
If you don't oh well