Because I Love Him•||Gaara Fanfic||•

Chapter 5

 
  I was surprised and confused to see Gaara here. After all that happened he had decided to come here. Maybe he wanted to see how much damage his words had done, if they had done any at all.

"Gaara I hate you so much" I said in a low voice staring back at the grass. The irony in my statement only had he smiling. What a terrible lie. His harsh words pierced through me deeply, the worst type of wounds that I could ever feel. Those wounds that cannot be healed by ointment and medicine, a shattered heart.

"No you don't" he replied, also looking down at the grass. I hadn't expected for him to believe it but why did I say it? Maybe I was trying to force myself into believing a lie. Of course he caught my lie. He was very intelligent.

"Why?" He questioned still looking at the ground.

"Why don't you hate me?" He continued this time looking up to me.

Oh how I wish I knew why my heart could not spare me and throw away the feelings that I had acquired into an endless hole so I didn't have to be bothered by some stupid remarks. Then again part of me didn't want to throw away my feelings.

" Because I like you idiot" I replied picking at the grass. Well of course even if I confessed he wouldn't understand me. I knew that because if he had understood feelings well enough he would've noticed long time that the way I felt about him was more than just simple admiration at the strategies and at his strengh.

" Even when those daggers leave your lips and attack me so suddenly I can't seem to hate you. I don't know you but I know when someone has suffered. Maybe because of your past you act like that but it's no excuse to hurt others"

"Well I killed people so I don't think it'd be likely for me not to hurt people"

I would have slapped him but two things were stopping me, the sand and my conscience. If only my heart could spare me the misery of having to constantly worry and want to do everything I can to help him out.

"Look I don't care about what you did. I just want you to for once have a conscience for my sake or am I still nothing" I said bitterly.

"Well honestly all you really are is an acquaintance"

That seemed mean but I was looking at a different angle of things. From what I know an acquaintance is someone that you know but aren't friends with or something you share a bond with. So that meant that-

"Hypocrite. So you acknowledge that we do know each other even though it's a little. You are something really"

The intriguing thing was that he was actually sitting hete coversing with me. I had only recently realized his intentions when he asked me if I hated him. He wanted me to push him away because he couldn't push me away. Despite this he could've walked away but he didn't.

He simply looked at me and looked back to the ground. Was that a very subtle smile I saw? Moments like these when I would just seem him lost in his own hidden world I'd forget whatever wrong he had done. When ever I saw that painful look in his eyes, I felt sad because I know that if anyone looked into my eyes closely enough they'd see that same painful look.

Silence filled the air as we sat there staring at the grass. I didn't brea it by any means and I believed that Gaara wouldn't break the silence either.

"Why do you really want to be my friend?" He asked turning to look at me breaking the silence. That look that I could always pinpoint, it was showing once again.

"Because I like you" I confessed looking at him. For once in all the time we met eye contact we actually seemed to have some sort of connection.

Neither of us spoke but rather we were trying to understand each other. At that moment the wind decided to blow his red hair in front of his face breaking the eye contact. He had only brushed his hair back a little when all of a sudden I fell off of the bench and landed face flat on the ground.

When I sat back up to look at him he looked at me blinking like I was mad. I told him that it was the wind but that was unbelievable since the wind was blowing in front of us. He didn't question it and instead shook his head.

I was going to start up the conversation once again when my sight was temporarily taken by a bright beam. I closed my eyes until I felt that ot was no longer on me. When I opened my eyes I saw that he was gone. I sighed, he never said goodbye when he left nor did he greet me with the usual good morning but only called my name.

I decided to go and eat ramen since I was starting to feel hungry. I ordered two bowls of ramen, one mild and one spicy. While I stuffed my face, I recalled the first time I had met him. How was it that I had not noticed him before? I must've been way too busy trying to pass each round to notice anyone really. Thinking about him confused me a great deal. I couldn't read him and I really wanted to get to know him. I exhaled as I finished the first bowl.

As I dug into the next bowl I thought of our previous conversation. It drove me insane how he could just slap me with the meanest words and ease the pain with a simple yet genuine compliment. By the time I had finished my bowl my face was burning. That pepper was so spicy. I asked for some water fanning myself with my hand. I gulped down the water and paid for my meal. I had only taken two steps out of the place when darkness engulfed me and I was then greeted with a painful lash to my head making me dizzy. Soon enough I lost consciousness.