A Cross Examination of a Disgrace and Syrup with Honey

Completely Cloudy with the Chance of a Stranger

[2013]

Garrett Phillips had stopped having grand dreams when he was nine years old. It didn't mean his dreams were irrelevant or that he didn't dream at all. It just meant that he had a new view about what the important things in life were. Losing your mother at such a young age tends to change you and make you realize things like that.

Garrett didn't really care about being on stage, or being adored by thousands of people or having a glamorous life anymore. And if he hadn't been sure, watching his father lose the love of his life definitely did the trick: what Garrett Phillips cared for the most was his family.

Dreams of adoring fans were replaced by memories of perfect Sunday mornings with his mother. His mother, Elizabeth, and Garrett had begun a tradition of their own: she would wake him up every Sunday with a kiss on the nose and piggy-back ride downstairs to the kitchen. It was the only day Garrett didn't mind being in his pajamas all day, as they worked together baking cookies, icing cupcakes, and making special cakes for his dad or trying pretty much every recipe in Elizabeth's baking book. Once she had passed away, Garrett had clung to that tradition, every single Sunday without exception, although for a very long time, the lack of his mother's voice humming, laughing, or just echoing against the walls stung his heart. But their traditions were also the only way he had to keep her close now that she was gone, so Garrett kept baking every Sunday, going through her recipe box and singing the same songs they used to sing together as they mixed the batter or waited for the oven timer to go off.

That's why after graduation, he decided to stay in Indiana where he grew up. He wanted to have his family nearby.   Leaving his father, Derek, behind wasn't even something he wanted to consider, not even now that his father was married again and had a step-son. Larson, his step brother, was taking over his dad's car shop in Fort Wayne, the garage Derek Phillips had spent years and years working at, while Garrett moved to Indianapolis to go to college. He had been accepted into the University of Indianapolis, where he decided to get a degree in Culinary Arts.

Staying in Indiana also meant Garrett wouldn't escape from the dangers of being an out gay boy in a place where many people were homophobic, but he had toughened up a lot while he was in school, having to deal with the teasing and bullying and the disgusted looks directed towards him every time he walked through the halls to class.  He was who he was and he loved himself. And he knew he wasn't alone. He knew there were a lot of other people like him around, but some of them were too scared or too confused to step up and admit it. So Garrett kept his head high and promised himself nothing would bring him down, especially ignorant idiots who wanted to use the things he couldn't change against him.

Once he graduated he worked in several restaurants as he saved money he needed for his real dream. He decided to stay in Indianapolis, since he had grown to like the city and it was only a little over two hours away from his family. If his dad needed him, he could be there quickly.

"That's a stupid reason for sticking around, Garrett," Derek had told him during one of their traditional Friday night dinners, as his step-mom, Dana, passed him the salad and Larson attacked his steak. "Maybe not next week, or next year or in another ten years, but one day I'll be gone. This is your moment, when you need to find your own life. You can't plan what you want to do depending on whether your old man has something inevitable happen--"

"Which won't happen because you've been eating healthy and exercising, right?" Garrett replied with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Derek sighed. "Of course, kiddo. Every day."

"And you haven't been lifting too much weight at the shop, right?" Garrett glanced at Larson now, who was shoving a piece of bread into his mouth and just nodded.