𝕽𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖙 [P.JMxReader] ✔

°•°Apologies°•°

°•°•°

If only sorry could fix
shattered mirrors, that can be put back together with effort...
But the cracks still remain

°•°•°

You still laid curled up into soft and fluffy bedsheets, with ray of sunshine making it's way on your face.

You couldn't sleep. For the love of God, you couldn't even close your eyes, because those thoughts, those crazy thoughts in your head won't let you.

You laid, dumbfounded, thinking. It's like every detail of your life was running through your head again. You hesitated every single decision you have ever made. Maybe, if you did something differently, you wouldn't be in this situation, laying in stranger's bed, in a house with seven boys, that you don't know. Maybe, just maybe, zombies wouldn't even exist in the first place, if you did something differently.

Of course, it's obnoxious to believe, that you could've changed history of the entire humanity, but maybe your little movement has caused this deadly virus.

Actually, zombies are still a mystery to humanity. Well, what is left of humanity. Scientists have only raised hypotesis about zombies, but none of them were prooved. They have guessed that people somehow got the virus through the water, but no one knew the truth.

You were questioning this quite frequently: why is this happening? Is it a punishment that the God has sent upon humanity? Or is it just a crazy dream that you'll eventually wake up from, and realize that you are laying in your cozy bed with a scent of morning waffles coming from the kitchen, where the mom is humming a relaxing melody? No. Too much time passed for it to be just a nightmare.

Time was a touchy theme for you.

How much time passed from the day you saw Duho? How many hours has he been thinking about wheter you're dead or alive? How many days was he staring at the city from above and waiting for you? How much of precious time has been wasted?

There is no time, it's just our doom - to count, you thought, deep inside of you, and half-smiled at cliche line that you created.

And talking about your doom... You were sure of it by now. You knew you had a tumor in your head, that can be, and most definitely is cancerous. It terrified you at first, when you realized that you'll die shortly after. But now, when you thought through that, you realized that it isn't that bad - you'll see Haneul and your family after death. Yes, it is mysterious, and yes, most likely not real, but it gave you a hope. And that was all you needed right now.

After laying in bed for hours and thinking about your existance in a whole, you weren't terrified of death anymore.

Air exists, but someday, somehow, we just stop breathing. You bit your bottom lip, when you realized how true those words, echoing in your head, were.

Eventually, you'll stop breathing. At the end, only connections between people are left, so all you can do to be remembered is creating memories of you inside other people's heads.

Right now, your last death wish was to see Duho. You had to apologize for leaving him, even though technically it wasn't your fault. But it didn't stop you from feeling guilty.

You'll go back to Duho, even with a tumor in your brain. You'll do it as soon as possible, as soon as you can walk.

You looked down at your shot leg and groaned in pain. When will it heal?

You gripped on the bedsheet harder and tried to lift your weight, but your spine felt too fragile for that. Just after shifting your body a little, you collapsed on the bed again, panting heavily.