Part 1
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. "Oh how I've changed" I thought. Ever since me and Seth had broken up my nights we're sleepless and my days were miserable and why wouldn't they be I was helplessly head over heels in love with this man and he couldn't care less of that fact. I put my mask on and took a deep breath before I changed my mind on going to this. I was glad it was a Masquerade Ball since I knew Seth would be there I hoped he wouldn't recognize me. On the car ride over there that backseat was my own personal hell. A demon that wouldn't be silenced in my own mind. I drifted off to the night where my heart was broken.
(Flashback)
I drove to his house oh how I had missed him with his crazy hours and non stop working it was hard seeing him on a daily basis but I was okay With that. I knew how much he loved his job and how hard he worked at it. How good he was at it so I always tried to be more than supportive. I arrived and sat on his front steps waiting for him. He had offered me a key but I wasn't ready for that yet well at that point in time but now it was different we were different. Since our last date I had came to realization that I kept rejecting to accept the plain and simple truth was that I was truly and utterly in love with this man I had decided that maybe after 6 months of dating it was time for us to get just a little more serious. I sat there waiting for him and finally after 2 hours of waiting there he was. I stayed sitting try to calm myself down I wasn't so much angry at him anymore. I was more nervous for the upcoming conversation we were about to embark on. "Hey Quinn" He said very cold and distant. "Hey.. you okay?" Was all I was able to reply. "Yea you wonna come in I wonna talk." I stood up I wanted to kiss him so I approached him a little but as soon as I was close enough to try he backed away opened his door and motioned for me to go in. Before he began saying anything my back was to him so I quickly turned and made eye contact with him and I broke the silence. "Why did you ask me if I wanted to come in?" I said now thinking that it was a weird thing to say. "Quinn I think me and you should stop seeing eachother." He said. Holy shit that was a shock. "can I ask why?" I said in a very low voice looking down at the floor trying to contain myself. I would not dare let myself cry in front of him. "We're just different I'm not good enough for you and.. and..." He hesitated for a while so I finished the sentence for him. "You met someone else." I whispered I put a smirk on my face than I began moving my head from side to side. "Yes.. I'm sorry." He approached me and tried to put his hands on my shoulders. I stepped back and put my arms up to defend myself "don't touch me" I said. He tried talking and talking or maybe he was talking but I wasn't listening. I felt the ground under me begin to fall or maybe it was me who was falling. I was sitting Indian style on his floor what seemed like for hours but I know it was only seconds. He put his arm on my left shoulder trying to console me and for the first time in our time together I flinched at his touch. "Don't do that to me" He said. "Don't shut me out I want us to be friends." He said again. I began shaking my head as if saying to him repeatedly overs and over. I stood up not once looking at him felt for my keys in my back pocket and began walking to his front door. "Please talk to me Quinn." He tried to grab my hand and I flinched again. I walked out the door. I felt his stare in back I got in my car and drove off. I don't remember driving, I don't remember arriving home but there I was sitting in my car alone in the dark. I looked down at my hands and there it was the first tear it fell down onto my fingers and than the second and than I just broke down to an uncontrollable sob. "Ma'am we've arrived" I was brought out of my bad dream. "Oh sorry" I put my mask on I wore a plain black mask that was outlined in black and badge with glitter with a big badge flower off to the side plain and simple like myself my dress was long and black. It flowed around me long enough to not show my heels but short enough so I didn't trip, it was backless, and my hair was in curls. I walked to the doors feeling nothing but nerves through my body god why did I decide to do this was all that ran through my mind. I walked through the big double doors and was completely taken into another world. The music was loud and the lights were low. People were dancing in there own place and time. While others were talking and laughing and suddenly they all stopped and put there eyes on me. God why are they staring at me maybe I look out of place as much as I feel I thought. I smiled my typical shy smile when out of nowhere I caught a glimpse of the birthday boy himself. I made my way through the crowd as politely as I could. "Lawrence happy birthday my love" I pulled him into a hug. "Thank you.. thank you and look at you.. you look beautiful" "oh thanks" I said. "Where's Zachary?" I said "taking care of my birthday gift or so he says.. I really have no idea" I began laughing. "Why do you always think the worst of your husband you know how much in love with you that man is." "Yea I guess I do" Lawrence says a little shameful. "Good don't ever doubt that. smile at him. Suddenly he looks up and than does a double take. "Hey man thanks for making it." He puts his hand out and i quickly move to stand beside him I move my gaze up forward. There he was, my smile falls and I catch my breath. He looks handsome in a balck tuxedo and a plain black mask. He shakes Lawrence's hand and turns his gaze to me. He stands there looking at me his eyes filled something I can't quite make out. "Quinn" He whispers and puts a half smile on his face. "Yea hi" was all I managed to say so low I could barely hear myself. He tries to pull me into a hug and for the third time I flinch at his touch and pull myself back. "I'm sorry.. no" I whisper. We make eye contact again and this time I'm able to make out the hurt he has in his eyes. He smiles apologetically "I'm sorry" He says. Than there's Zachary. He comes up from behind me and kissed my cheeck. "Good evening beautiful" He says. I turn to him and throw myself in Into his arms. " Thank you" than he whispers "your welcome" into my ear. " I will excuse myself and see you guys around happy birthday again Lawrence and thank you for the invite Zachary lovely party..." than he looks at me "Quinn." I just nod thinking what does he expect me to say? He walks away and I'm finally able to breath again. Lawrence and Zachary look at me "you okay love?" Lawrence says. "I'm fine.. I just haven't seen him since that night" I grab Lawrence by the hand and we begin our mingling through the party. All throughout the night I catch him staring at me sometimes while he's in the middle of a conversation with someone or while he's getting a drink at the bar. I try not to notice I try not to let him get to me but he has me. They begin to play slow song's and I stand there admiring the couples who look like there on top of the world. "You wonna dance?" I hear a deep voice.. His deep voice. "No i'm good thank you." Suddenly without warning he grabs my hand and leads me out the dance floor. I begin to hesitate and try to free my arm but people begin to stare. He stops and pulls me into his embrace and I just fix my gaze on the floor beside me. We begin swaying side to side to Come wake me up by Rascal Flatts. Until finally he begins to break the silence. "How are you?" "Don't" I stop him in his tracks quickly. "But I miss you and I'm so sorry I was an asshole.. but this past month has been a living hell for me and I cannot look at you without wanting you back." We're staring at eachother, getting lost in his dark brown eyes is my weakness. I begin to feel it, the tears and when he senses I'm about to pull away he dips me and kissed my cheek. I close my eyes and i embrace that feeling again. The feeling I loved oh so much not so long ago. We continue dancing this time not saying anything. Every chance he gets he pulls me closer to him. Until finally there is nothing in between us. I feel him looking at me so I return my gaze to him and when he's so close, so close I feel him about to touch my lips with his he dips me again and this time holds me there, he looks me right in my eyes, and begins to say the lyrics to the song. "I know you can't hear me but baby I need you to save me tonight." Than in one swift move with me still dipped at his mercy clinging onto his shoulders he kisses me. He kisses me it's a needing, a wanting, a desperate need to be forgiven kind of kiss and with that the song finishes. People begin cheering and clapping and he brings me back up to face him. I walk away from him. Pushing my way this time through that crowd. I made my way upstairs and sat on the bed. "Don't cry.. don't cry.." I repeated to myself. I heard the door open and I didn't have to turn to know who it was "dammit why didn't I lock the damn door?" I said in frustration.
